tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-40584972072963514522024-03-19T02:19:50.887-07:00Run the equatorOld motto:The journal of two backpacking rats travelling in various ships on this and that side of the equator.<br>
New motto:mortgage, kids and a car that wants a lot of attention.Big Fat Rathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637735648155964440noreply@blogger.comBlogger153125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4058497207296351452.post-53891206851025828212010-11-15T22:14:00.000-08:002010-11-15T22:28:07.945-08:00Troubleshooting the charging system<p>On a Thursday evening the dash indicator lights started flickering while I was braking. The next day, as I was driving home, the radio started going in and out, and the blinkers were having a hard time clicking, the dash lights faded; the car became plagued by a host of electrical issues in a short time. I had just pulled off the highway in a residential street and the car died suddenly; no sputtering, no jerking, the engine just shut off.</p>
<p>I came back two hours later and – surprise! – I was able to start the car and drive (without headlights, to conserve the battery charge) the few remaining blocks to my house where it died again, just as I pulled into the garage.</p>
<p>Considering that the car had shut off while driving, when the alternator should supply all power, and that it started later again on battery alone, I was pretty certain this was an alternator problem not a battery problem.</p>
<p>The question was how to I tell whether this was caused a broken alternator or a broken voltage regulator. The two components work together: the alternator produces the current that powers the car and recharges the battery when the engine runs, while the voltage regulator controls the field current that activates the electromagnets located on the rotor inside the alternator. If the alternator fails there is no current to power the car’s electric components and recharge the battery. If the voltage regulator breaks, it may fail to limit the current generated by the alternator and melt the battery or it won’t apply current to the rotor’s electromagnets, which in turn won’t generate current when the rotor spins (the beauty of 10th grade physics…) Many things can go wrong with this system. Here’s a link to a more detailed technical description: <a href="http://www.familycar.com/Classroom/charging.htm">http://www.familycar.com/Classroom/charging.htm</a></p>
<p>Tests that indicate which component has failed exist but you’d have to start with a fully charged battery, and mine was dead (it measured 11.3V, which is as good as dead). The flickering of the dash lights usually indicates that the brushes of the voltage regulator, which supply the current that magnetizes the alternator rotor on contact with the rotor’s slip rings, have worn out and make intermittent contact. Replacing the voltage regulator is an easy job on the Bosch alternators used in E30 cars; the VR is mounted on the back of the alternator with two screws. The regulator can be replaced without removing the alternator. The battery must be disconnected first.</p>
<p>I decided to replace the voltage regulator and assumed the alternator was still good; it was unlikely that both would fail at the same time. Besides, the VR is much easier to replace that the alternator and cheaper too: only $20 at PelicanPart.com, whereas a rebuilt alternator can cost up to $200.</p>
<p>It turned out my assumption was correct; the voltage regulator brushes had worn down. The brushes were 3 and 4 mm in length, respectively; the shorter of them was covered with black soot. The VR should be replaced when the brushes are down to 5mm length.</p>
<p>Here’s a photo of the new and old parts, side by side.
<div style="float: center; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/5145089414/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1134/5145089414_a426480e6d.jpg" width="460" height="313"/></div></a></div>
</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>My alternator may not be feeling very well either. I checked the voltage at the battery while the engine was revved up to 1500 RPM and it didn’t exceed 13.6V; it should go up to 14.5V. This is probably a sign that one of the alternator’s internal circuits is broken or burned; the whole thing is getting close to the end of its useful life. Here’s a new project to think of soon.</p>Big Fat Rathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637735648155964440noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4058497207296351452.post-83949917187567196672010-09-25T10:28:00.000-07:002010-09-27T21:57:32.242-07:00Front Subframe and Oil Pan Gasket<p>The oil pan has been leaking for a long time, leaving clusters of dark spots on my garage floor. Sooner or later I had to replace the oil pan gasket, so I bought a new one. That was a year ago. In the meanwhile I read about the procedure on books, web sites and forums. The more I read, the more I realized this was going to be a tough job. The oil pan on the M20 engine is difficult to remove without doing a lot of additional work like removing the subframe or raising the engine. Because of limited clearance you may need to drop the oil pump in the pan before being able to remove the pan; then you would have to mount it back on with the pan around it. Not an encouraging prospect. Finally the opportunity presented itself to take on a bold goal: I had decided to replace the front subframe as well because one of the tabs that the stabilizer bar attaches to was broken, causing a very annoying rattle when the stabilizer bar banged against the subframe.</p>
<p>I didn’t have to buy a new subframe for this, but at that moment I felt that instead of looking for someone who could weld a new custom tab to it, I would rather buy a new one. I found a new subframe on eBay, sold by a family dealership that was trying to get rid of some stock parts for past models and negotiated it to $350. By comparison Bavarian Auto sells one for $541.95. A waste of money anyway, you will say. Yes, disposable income leads to unjustified expenses.</p>
<p>The decision was easier now: I had a justification to remove the subframe so I didn’t have to remove the oil pan the hard way. In the process I would not only fix the leak, but also stop the stabilizer bar rattle. To remove the subframe I had to support the engine from above, so I bought an engine support bar from Harbor Freight for $50. I decided to replace the oil pump as well. I haven’t heard reports of oil pumps breaking, but this was an opportunity to make sure everything in the oil pan was new. I certainly wasn’t going to enjoy repeating this procedure if the pump ever needed replacement.</p>
<p>Click <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/sets/72157624884157849/">here</a> for the full set of pictures. Click on thumbnails for a bigger version, with notes that indicate the location of various components.</p>
<h3>Preparation (Day 1, Wednesday)</h3>
<p>As usual, start with raising the front and removing the front wheels.</p>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/5014005806/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4127/5014005806_3ac9689566_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Remove the 17mm bolts that secure the control arm “lollipop” bracket to the body.</p><div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/5014005950/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4131/5014005950_9ba138e167_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Remove the 13mm bolts and release the brackets that hold the stabilizer bar to the subframe (the bar will now be resting on the control arms). I only had one of those left, on the passenger’s side. The one on the driver’s side was missing.</p><div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/5013400741/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4126/5013400741_8392d4a919_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Install engine support bar above engine; hook it to support loop bracket.</p><div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/5014006302/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4152/5014006302_961ce39d05_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Remove the oil protective plate for better visibility under the engine and access to the oil pan. The plate is held by some metal screws and plastic fasteners.</p><div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/5014006662/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4147/5014006662_25265e8012_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Remove oil drain plug and drain oil overnight. Remove oil filter. In fact I should have drained the oil before raising the car, because some oil collected at the rear end of the pan and came out pouring on the floor when I removed the pan later.</p><div style="clear:both;"></div>
<h3>Remove the front subframe (Day 2, Thursday)</h3>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/5013401451/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4145/5013401451_77a3e926df_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Detach the steering rack from subframe by removing the two 15mm bolts. You will need replacement self-locking nuts. Move the steering rack out of the way.</p><div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/5013401651/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4149/5013401651_a5a0741b54_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Remove the 17mm nuts that hold the motor mounts to subframe. Lift the engine just enough to make sure it’s securely attached to the support bar.</p><div style="clear:both;"></div><div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/5014007268/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4112/5014007268_a860e408e9_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
To prevent accidents, support the subframe with a jack before detaching it. Then remove the 4 17mm retaining bolts and lower the jack. You may need to hit the subframe with a hammer or mallet if it’s stuck to the chassis.</p><div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/5013406925/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4127/5013406925_bc250c1ee8_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
When I removed the subframe, the driver’s side motor mount fell, which it wasn’t supposed to happen. I realized that the rubber part had separated from the upper metal plate, which meant that the engine was just resting on the mount, susceptible to vibrations and shifts in position. This would not be enough to get the engine to fall off the mount, but enough to cause unpleasant vibrations and clunking. Unfortunately I had not planned to replace the mounts so I had to order them and wait over the weekend.</p><div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/5013402039/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4132/5013402039_e3be5af576_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Support control arms after dropping the subframe, so the strut mounts and tie rods won’t have to bear all the weight.</p><div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/5013402223/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4113/5013402223_3018628ff3_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Remove the 22mm nuts that hold the control arm ball joints to the subframe. This is difficult to do with the subframe in place because the space is very limited. Removing the nut was much easier after the subframe was dropped. Take the subframe out of the way – I had to hit the ball joint bolts with a hammer to get them unstuck; be careful not to damage the threads.</p><div style="clear:both;"></div>
<h3>Remove the oil pan (Day 3, Friday)</h3>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/5013403099/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4129/5013403099_1109919842_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Disconnect oil level sensor connector (at the base of the alternator), remove dip stick. Remove the ground wire attached to the oil pan (I should have done this when I removed the sensor but I missed it; it was much harder to remove from the detached pan)</p></p><div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;">
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/5013403301/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4151/5013403301_571e7faaf9_t.jpg"/></div></a><br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/5014009232/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4084/5014009232_0d0ca664ca_t.jpg"/></div></a>
</div>
Remove 4 hex-head bolts (13mm) and the 5 Torx bolts (one E14, the others E12) that secure the bellhousing plate cover; remove the cover. Bentley says there are 4 Torx bolts; in reality there are 5 on mine, the leftmost bolt was very hard to remove. Make a note of the positions of the various bolts – they have different lengths.</p><div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/5014009660/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4084/5014009660_15acd0c024_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Remove the 25 10mm retaining bolts that hold the oil pan to the engine block. There should be enough clearance now, with the subframe removed, to move the oil pan out of the way before dropping the pump. Oil will flow!</p><div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/5014010062/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4091/5014010062_006eaa801b_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Remove the three mounting bolts and drop the oil pump - more oil will flow.</p><div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/5014011362/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4133/5014011362_7191a2789a_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Scrape off the rest of the gasket and clean mating surfaces.</p><div style="clear:both;"></div>
<h3>Install oil pan (Day 4, Saturday)</h3>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/5013405943/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4127/5013405943_29eb2e5acb_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Install new oil pump, torque bolts to spec. (all torque values taken from the Bentley)</p><div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>Install new gasket (I had a cork gasket), and place oil pan in position. This was a delicate operation. Once the pan fits you have to keep it in place with one hand while screwing in a few of the bolts with the other hand and make sure the whole thing does not shift. I used “Gasgacinch”, a sealant which I bought from O’reilly, on both mating surfaces. I had to shift the pan slightly once as some of the bolts wouldn’t fit, but fortunately it didn’t seem to drag the gasket too much around. There’s only one place where the gasket comes out about 1 mm.</p>
<p>Install all bolts in a star pattern, torque to 8 ft.lb. I think I may have applied more torque than necessary.</p>
<p>Install the bell-housing cover (no torque specified)</p>
<p>Re-attach ground wire and connect oil sensor connector.</p>
<p>Install oil drain plug and washer. Install new oil filter, put dipstick in
Fill engine with oil.</p>
<h3>Install subframe (Day 5, Tuesday)</h3>
<p>I had to wait a couple of days for the new motor mounts to arrive.</p>
<p>Fit control arm center ball-joint bolts through the corresponding socket holes in the subframe; torque new self-locking nuts to spec. Keep control arms supported on wood blocks. I had to raise the subframe and prop it against the body, and then I pressed the ball joint from below with a jack because the ball joint on the right side was spinning around its axis when I tried to tighten the nut.</p>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/5014012322/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4126/5014012322_ea1865ecae_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
To be able to unlock the nut that secures the mount at the top to the engine support bracket I had to remove the brackets altogether. There was no easy way to get to that nut and wield a wrench in the limited space, especially on the passenger’s side where the charcoal canister hangs ½ inch above the nut. this could be avoided by removing the heat shield on the passenger's side and the charcoal canister on the driver's side.</p><div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>Remove the nuts and drop the mounts, or whatever's left of them - in my case the driver’s side mount was broken; the top plate had detached from the rubber part. Re-attach motor mounts brackets to the engine block.</p>
<p>Attach the new mounts to the engine brackets, and tighten the top nut loosely.
Raise subframe using a jack until it fits in position, the bolt guides match the bolt holes in the body, and the motor mounts and hood catch brackets fit the subframe's notches. I thought I needed a helper to wiggle the engine back and forth to fit the mounts, but this ended up being delicate incremental work: crank the jack one step, shove the subframe a bit, turn mounts to get them closer to the notches, push engine a tad to the left, repeat. Make sure you push the steering rack back in its location as you raise the subframe.</p>
<p>Bolt subframe on the body. No torque specified in the Bentley. Lower the engine completely; Remove engine support bar.</p>
<p>Tighten the motor mounts nuts, top and down. The top ones are difficult. I tightened them by hand as far as I could, then I used a 17mm short wrench to get them tight. No chance to tighten them to spec.</p>
<p>Attach steering rack to subframe, use new self-locking nuts.</p>
<p>Attach stabilizer bar to subframe. It wasn’t easy to attach the new bracket that had been missing before. I had to detach the link that connected it to the control arm first.</p>
<p>Bolt lollipops back on to chassis.<br />
Wheels. Done.</p>
<p><b>The net effect:</b> no leak so far, no oil drops on the garage floor.</p>
<p>Before replacing the broken motor mount I used to feel a strong vibration propagated through the steering column to the steering wheel at around 55-60mph. Changing the broken mount made this vibration go away.</p>
<h3>Time</h3>
<p>As you can see from the outline of this article I took my time. I was on vacation; I would wake up late, work for a few hours, then I'd take a break for the rest of the day. If I hadn't had to wait for the motor mounts to arrive the whole procedure would have taken less time. I believe you should be able to do this in one weekend, if you have all the parts and tools ready and you wake up early. It's hard work though; my back and hands would hurt after a few hours of constantly getting under the car and out again, and ratcheting with my hands in the air while lying down.</p>
<h3>Cost</h3>
<p>Not including various shipping charges</p>
<ul>
<li>Subframe: $350</li>
<li>Motor mounts: 2x$52 = $104</li>
<li>Oil pan gasket: $8</li>
<li>Oil pump: $143.25</li>
<li>Various self-locking nuts: $10, maybe</li>
<li>Gasket sealant: $5</li>
<li>Engine support bar: $50</li>
<li>Small tools that I didn't already own: $15</li>
</ul>Big Fat Rathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637735648155964440noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4058497207296351452.post-40921208281715940732010-03-12T21:36:00.000-08:002010-03-13T17:51:50.181-08:00The story of a rattle<p>A few months ago my ’88 eta started making these rattling sounds when going over bumps. It seemed to come from somewhere in the rear drivetrain. Not all bumps would cause it, and not all the time. It was more likely to happen on certain stretches of road, or at particular turns on my daily commute. Sometimes I’d go over the nastiest cracks in the road and nothing would happen. The clunk didn’t become worse with time, but it was always there.</p>
<p>I started to investigate; a few times I jacked up the rear, got under the car and checked every moving part. Nothing dangled, no parts had any play when shaken; nothing would make that sound. I looked at the calipers, the brake hoses, the brake pads (rattling brake pads are not unheard of) but nothing budged. I adjusted the park brake shoes (I had to do it anyway since the hand brake had become weak) but that didn’t help either. I checked the springs and shocks and the shock mounts; they were ok. I stripped the interior bare, looking for some dangling parts. I started questioning my prior repair jobs… maybe I hadn’t put the sub-frame back properly when I changed the sub-frame bushings? Everything seemed fine.</p>
<p>Last weekend I decided to finally abandon the assumption that the rattle was coming from the rear. Sounds can be misleading, they echo through the chassis; what I would perceive as coming from the rear could as well be caused by something dangling in the front.</p>
<p>I looked at the front calipers, the tie rods, the control arms… nothing moved here either, sideways or vertically, more than expected. Then, as I looked at the sway bar it all became suddenly clear.</p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/4428036925/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4051/4428036925_c4175474dc.jpg"/></div></a></div>
<p>A few months ago, when I worked on the front suspension, I noticed that the small pierced tab at the end of the sub-frame, which anchors the bracket that holds the sway bar, was broken and missing on the left side. The support bracket was gone too. The thick rubber piece was still around the bar, resting against the sub-frame. It looked nasty, but nothing that needed to be addressed immediately. That same rubber piece had shifted and the sway bar was resting against the bare metal of the cross-member. That’s what caused the rattle. Normally, the sway bar and the sub-frame would touch, but when driving over certain bumpy stretches or on grooved pavement, the wheel would move up and down, pulling the sway bar which is attached to the spindle with a link. Sometimes this movement would make the bar hit against the sub-frame. Rattle on!</p>
<p>I pushed the rubber piece back in its place, between the sub-frame and the sway bar, and I haven’t heard the rattle since. That’s a temporary solution; it’s about time to spend money and time for an actual repair job. Since I have to remove the sub-frame, I may as well do some other jobs there… like changing that leaky oil pan gasket.</p>
<p>At least I won’t be obsessing over this one anymore.</p>
<p>Bonus chatter: a new subframe costs about $500.</p>Big Fat Rathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637735648155964440noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4058497207296351452.post-53650597967612499022009-12-17T09:32:00.000-08:002009-12-18T13:27:05.710-08:00Replacement of the BMW E30 rear subframe bushings<p>The rear axle carrier – also called cross-member or sub-frame – is attached to the chassis with a pair of sturdy bushings made of metal and rubber. Over time the rubber in these bushings weakens. Some bushings break, others merely sag. The overall effect is that the whole rear of the car feels a bit loose, as if it were moving sideways on its own when you turn. Shifting may result in a loud “clunk” when the clutch is pressed; momentum pushes the chassis forward while the final drive is suddenly decoupled; since the bushings are weak the subframe will jolt and bang against the chassis.</p>
<p>My car showed three different symptoms of mechanical failure in the drive train:<p/>
<ul>
<li>A loud clunk when I shifted while accelerating, especially from first to second gear, louder when moving uphill – presumably caused by front-to-back play in the bushings. Let’s call this “the big clunk”. This one felt like the car was coming apart.</li>
<li>A sudden bang when driving over certain small bumps or cracks in the road – probably caused by up-down bushing play that makes the subframe hit the supporting plate or the chassis</li>
<li>A weak dangling sound when pressing the clutch, as if something were swinging side to side and banging against metal. Not sure what this sound is caused by. I can hear it even if the “big clunk” doesn’t occur. Let’s call this the “little clunk”.</li>
</ul>
<p>Click on each picture to see a larger version and access the image notes. Click <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/sets/72157622879232399/">here</a> for the whole set (contains some additional photos not included in this article).</p>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/4186260151/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4045/4186260151_2571639cf2_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Sagging subframe</i></span></div>
A good indication of the condition of the bushings is the gap between the cross-member and the support plate. If the bushing bottom touches the support plate, the bushing is worn out. The rubber that holds the bushing’s central hollow rod anchored to the outer sleeve weakens, making the subframe sag.</p><div style="clear:both;"></div>
<h3>Preparation</h3>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/4186260187/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4047/4186260187_d9f10a2b8a_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Normally I raise the rear and place the jack stands under the crossmember. Since you will be lowering the crossmember, the jack stands have to go somewhere else - the jacking point is right in front of the subframe support plate. The standard jack stands fit there, but the body rests on them in a rather precarious position. Maybe this support point is meant to work with a special BMW stand or a lift, neither of which can be found in my tiny garage.</p><div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/4186260243/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2222/4186260243_278bc31455_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
The exhaust pipe is merely an inch or so under the subframe. Release the support brackets that hold the muffler and lower the exhaust to make place for the subframe. I am not sure this step helped at all.</p><div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/4186260295/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2557/4186260295_eebfa7408c_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
To create more space below the subframe, unhook the differential from its support bracket and lower the final drive (which is attached to the subframe with bolts). You should support it with a jack or blocks of wood. I forgot to support it for some time but luckily no damage occurred.</p><div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/4186260357/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2695/4186260357_72c37ac400_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
I thought that by lowering the trailing arm I would gain some additional space for the subframe, so I unscrewed and removed the shock absorber bolt. In retrospect this turned out to be unnecessary. I did not do the same on the right side and the subframe dropped just fine. Support the trailing arm if you chose to go through with this step.</p><div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/4187022622/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2592/4187022622_dcef36476c_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Give a good tug with a large wrench or breaker bar to the 22mm nut on the subframe bolt to loosen it. I had to use my large torque wrench for this; the nut wouldn’t budge with the regular ratcheting wrench. Support the subframe with a floor jack. Remove the 6mm Allen bolts that hold the support plate to the chassis. They come out easy, together with the reinforcement piece.</p><div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/4186260583/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2803/4186260583_678bb4386d_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Remove the subframe nut and the support plate.</p><div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/4186260743/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2794/4186260743_139513789a_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Worn out bushing</i></span></div>
The rubber insides of the bushing look quite worn. Start banging on the bolt with a mallet or a hammer until it slides up the shaft. This part wasn't easy; it took a lot of hitting, sweating and cursing. There wasn't much space between the bottom of the car and the garage floor so I couldn't take a wide swing at it. It finally budged a tiny bit, then a little more until finally I was able to push it out with a screwdriver and the tap of a mallet. Some write-ups tell you to cover the top of the bolt inside the car with a towel so it doesn't fly against the ceiling when you hit it. This bolt never flew anywhere - it moved bit by bit with every blow.</p><div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/4187023250/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2614/4187023250_8ebcfda71d_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Subframe lowered</i></span></div>
Release the jack and lower the subframe. It didn't go down too far; I had to push and pull and fight for every inch.</p><div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/4186261223/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4040/4186261223_149a4f6911_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
There wasn’t enough space to squeeze the bushing tool between the subframe and the chassis, so I decided to unhook the stabilizer bar from the trailing arm to gain some additional room. In retrospect, just like with the shock, I am not convinced this step was necessary.</p><div style="clear:both;"></div>
<h3>The tool</h3>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/4187023596/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2782/4187023596_a026d41032_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Subframe bushing tool parts</i></span></div>
I bought the subframe bushing tool on eBay for $150. It seems to be part of a multi-model bushing tool kit code-named BMW2336, made by a manufacturing company called Sir Tools and sold by resellers like Zdmak and Technictool, for about $300. This kit is no longer for sale; it has been superseded by tool set BMW3026. The tool I bought is limited to the parts that are needed for the E30.</p>
<p>Since the parts did not come with instructions I emailed both Sir Tools and Zdmak asking for a courtesy copy (it was quite obvious how it worked, but nonetheless). Sir Tools answered a week later and actually sent me a copy by email.</p>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/4189456288/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4038/4189456288_8a4176a798_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Instruction sheet</i></span></div>
These are the tool directions as found on the internet. The removal steps are accurate but the installation instructions go against common sense. In order for the tool to push the bushing in the subframe when the bolt is tightened, the top piece (#R) must sit on top of the collar (#J) which sits on top of the subframe. The instructions say something else. They must have been written by someone who has never seen the underside of a car.</p>
<p>I could have tried to build a similar tool myself, but I just felt like spending the money this time (unexpected bonus at work helped too). Building a tool requires some pipe fittings and caps, a few nuts, a long threaded bolt and a bit of drilling. The sizes of pipe fittings must be carefully chosen to ensure they match the subframe cavity. You can find examples of home-made tools <a href="http://www.unofficialbmw.com/repair_faqs/subframe.html">here</a> and <a href="http://e30world.com/suspension/BMW-E30-Rear-Subframe-Bushings-Replacement">here</a>.</p>
<h3>Removal</h3>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/4186261491/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2767/4186261491_290f76db89_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Place sleeve (B) over bottom plate (A) and ring (C) on top. Slide bolt through plate. Grease the threads well.</p><div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/4187024000/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2500/4187024000_eb828a4b43_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Tool in place for removal<br />View from the top</i></span></div>
The ring pushes against the bottom of the subframe “cup” that holds the bushing. The bolt is threaded through the bushing and screwed onto the cap, which sits on top of the bushing.
The vertical notches in the “cap” must line up with the dimples in the subframe, otherwise the cap won't slide down when the bolt is tightened.</p><div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/4186262115/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2702/4186262115_74b35329d1_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
The ring is designed so that the metal collar at the bottom of the bushing can slide through it in the sleeve, while its two opposing protrusions push against the subframe.</p><div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/4187024390/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2790/4187024390_f3b317d946_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
The tool must be perfectly centered - if it's not, it may slip on one side and the ring bites through the subframe exterior coating - which is what happened to me. I re-centered the tool and it stayed in position this time.</p><div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/4186262479/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2590/4186262479_ca62c6ec10_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>The actual removal of the bushing only took a couple of minutes.</p><div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/4187025020/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2524/4187025020_7c8e57fb56_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
The inner metal cylinder of the old bushing is higher up in the sleeve than the new Lemforder bushing. This is because the rubber around it has weakened. This is probably the original 21-year-old bushing.</p><div style="clear:both;"></div>
<h3>Installation</h3>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/4187025168/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2679/4187025168_69e7901fb5_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Tool set up for installation<br />View from the top</i></span></div>
Set up the tool for installation. The top cap piece sits on the collar which rests on the subframe. The top of the bushing will pass through the collar and go into the cap. The slits at the bottom of the cap engage the tracks that jut out of the collar, so the cap doesn't move when the bolt is tightened. The threaded bolt must go through the chassis hole where the knurled bolt was; otherwise the bushing can't rise in the subframe cup.</p><div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/4186263203/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2563/4186263203_8e1865b4c8_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Installation</i></span></div>
The rubber is lubed with a very thin solution of water and dish soap. It evaporates almost instantaneously. The vertical groove in the bushing must be aligned with the dimples in the sleeve of the subframe.</p><div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/4187025912/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4009/4187025912_33c7f6c75d_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Remove the tool. Raise the subframe. Don't forget to put the washer back on top of the bushing before raising the subframe.</p><div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/4187026072/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4044/4187026072_10bbbfb1e2_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Done!</i></span></div>
To make the knurled bolt drop all the way down and lodge itself in the chassis I had to push and pull on the subframe to align the bushing with the hole in the chassis, I raised the sagging differential a bit, and then hammered away on the bolt head from inside the car. The hammering was needed because the last inch or so would not go down freely and when the nut was tightened the bolt would just turn on its axis. I couldn't find out if the nut was supposed to be a single-use self-locking nut, so I used some red Loctite and 120 foot-pound of torque. I found the number somewhere on the BFC forum; it may not be accurate, but the Bentley does not say anything about the subframe, so there...</p>
<p>Notice the healthy gap between the support plate and the bushing. It will become smaller when the car is back on the ground.</p>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/4187026886/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2530/4187026886_a7bf9c68e6_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Installing the right-side bushing</i></span></div>
Now do the same thing on the passenger’s side. The subframe dropped much easier and lower than on the driver’s side without removing the shock absorber bolt. Actually, everything went easier on the passenger’s side: I didn’t have that much trouble removing the bolt (it moved after a few hits with the hammer) or putting it back in.</p><div style="clear:both;"></div>
<h3>Cost</h3>
<p><strong>Tool:</strong> $150+shipping.<br />
<strong>Parts:</strong> $45.50 for Lemfoerder bushings on Pelicanparts.com</p>
<h3>Time & effort</h3>
<p>Around 8 hours – I started at 9:30 AM; the car had its wheels back on the ground shortly before 6PM. This includes jacking up, a short trip to the auto parts store and lunch. Most of the time was spent ratcheting, banging on stuck bolts and in procedures that weren’t strictly necessary. The actual removal and installation of the bushings was a matter of minutes. I can’t imagine how long this procedure would have taken without the special tool. It’s one of the most complex procedures I have completed, albeit less complex than the front suspension upgrade. It was very demanding physically: that evening my hands and forearms were so sore and swollen I could barely turn a door knob. Lifting the glass of beer to my mouth was painful. I hurt until the following Tuesday.</p>
<h3>Effects</h3>
<p>I drove for a few days on steep Seattle streets full of potholes before posting this. I can confidently say that clunk #1, “the big clunk,” is gone. Going over bumps and cracks feels more solid now as well – I don’t get the impression anymore that the rear of the car would fall apart, but this may be just wishful thinking – I have sport suspension, the ride is a bit rough anyway. Clunk #3 is still there, though. Now with the subframe bushings out of the way I can only ascribe it to the differential dangling in the center support bearing. Or something. The quality of ride has definitely improved, but not dramatically.</p>
<h3>Conclusion</h3>
<p>Do it. If you get “the big clunk” changing the bushings will result in a clear improvement to your shifting. If you decide to do it the barbaric way – removing the subframe entirely, cutting through the bushing with a saw, burning the rubber, taking the cross-member to a mechanical shop to have the bushings pressed in, doing whatever you need to do - it could take much longer, depending on your experience and whether you're working alone or with a helper. Things have been done that way many times and you will find a few <a href="http://bmw.e30tuner.com/my318is_pic_rebuild3.php">write-ups online</a> to guide you. To each his own.</p>Big Fat Rathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637735648155964440noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4058497207296351452.post-7991745130291501582009-09-26T13:21:00.000-07:002009-09-27T10:59:08.481-07:00When your fuel pump goes...<p>I knew it had to happen to me sooner or later, and it did: as I left the grocery store heading home, my 21-year-old BMW did not start. A nice lady asked me if I needed help to jump the car, and I had to decline her offer; it wasn’t the battery, it had to be something else. Good thing the store was only a few blocks away from home. I had the car towed the next day, pushed it into my garage and started debugging.</p>
<p>There’s a straightforward <a href="http://www.bavauto.com/newsletter/2007_n407_newsletter.pdf#page=4">step-by-step procedure</a> you can follow to find the cause of a non-start. After eliminating the obvious suspects – a dead battery and the absence of spark – the most obvious component that needs to be tested is the fuel pump. In later E30 models (starting with production month 9/87) there is only a single fuel pump, located in the fuel tank, accessible through a hatch under the passenger’s side rear seat. It’s easy to check if the pump is working: remove the rear seat, remove the pump cover, crank up the car (or have a helper turn the key instead) and listen. The pump should make… well, pumping sounds, just as you imagine a fuel pump would sound. If you can’t hear anything it could mean that:</p>
<ol>
<li>Either the pump is broken and you need a new one, or</li>
<li>You have no voltage at the pump – because either the wires are interrupted (pray that they aren’t because fixing wiring in a car is a terrible job) or your fuel pump relay is bad</li>
</ol>
<p>To check for voltage remove the power connector from the pump, stick the probes of a voltmeter in the connector and crank the car – if the relay works the probe should show battery voltage, about 12V. Operating the ignition while holding the probe in the connector and reading the voltmeter display can be a pretty cumbersome task - another set of hands greatly helps. If you’re working alone you can simplify your life if you bypass the relay: remove it from its socket and link the connector’s pins 30 and 87 together with a wire (preferably a fuse holder with a 15amp fuse); this will bypass the ignition and supply constant battery power to the fuel pump (that’s also a good way to make sure the wiring is fine).</p>
<p>If there’s voltage at the fuel pump but the pump is silent it’s time for a new pump. There are a few models for sale that can fit the E30. The OEM pump for the ’88 E30 is a VDO. The good thing about it is that it comes with the complete assembly: fuel pump, mounting frame, filter and O-ring; you just swap the old one out and re-connect the hose. The average price online for this OEM part is about $200. The cheapest I could find it for was $176.35 at autohausaz.com. Unexpectedly, my usual supplier bavauto.com sells the VDO pump for an ungodly $362.95.</p>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3956656758/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3442/3956656758_fbc2e180dd_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>The TRE 340 in a box</i></span></div>
The alternative is a pump from an aftermarket supplier like TRE or Walbro. The TRE 340 had good reviews (if you can ever take seriously anything you read on internet forums) and it’s for sale on eBay. The noticeable price difference ($78.98, shipping included) tipped the balance in its favor. However, generic aftermarket pumps come with a catch – they require some wiring work, and they may need modifications to the fuel pump assembly to fit.</p>
<p>This is the whole procedure, step by step. Click on each picture to see a larger version and access the image notes. Click <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/sets/72157622456046020/">here</a> for the whole set.</p>
<p>The Bentley recommends disconnecting the battery (as it does for almost every procedure); I didn’t. Anyway, be careful when you work around fuel lines. Don’t smoke.</p>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3954883478"><div class='flickrimg'><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2544/3954883478_6e99985d42_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Remove the rear seat and then unscrew the four bolts that hold the black oval access cover on the passenger’s side. There’s a similar round cover on the driver’s side – that’s just a fuel gauge sending unit; leave it alone.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3954103293/"><div class='flickrimg'><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3528/3954103293_98aa47b785_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Remove the electrical connectors: the connector with 2 pins is the power supply. The other is the fuel gauge sender connector.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3954103525/"><div class='flickrimg'><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2661/3954103525_40e3d75fe1_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Loosen the hose clamp and remove the hose. Either end will do. The one on the fuel-line side was easier to remove. Fuel may be discharged – in my case there wasn’t any fuel in the line since the pump was broken.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3954103901"><div class='flickrimg'><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3529/3954103901_14410d3f7d_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Remove the four 8mm mounting screws on top of the fuel gauge sending unit.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;">
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3954104223/"><div class='flickrimg'><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2668/3954104223_a96818e733_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Pull the sending unit out of the tank. Wait until all the liquid drips back in the tank. There is a lot of gas in the can, and it all drips out through a tiny hole at the bottom.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;">
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3954884906/"><div class='flickrimg'><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2666/3954884906_51efe32e10_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Rotate the fuel pump assembly counter-clockwise to loosen it.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;">
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3954104971/"><div class='flickrimg'><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3490/3954104971_e334c71180_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Remove fuel pump assembly out of the tank. Make a note of the position of the assembly when it comes out. You will have to put it in the same way.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;">
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3954105341/"><div class='flickrimg'><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2675/3954105341_e007678f2b_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Look at the assembly and notice the alignment of the fuel filter relative to the frame. You will need to install the new filter in the same position.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;">
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3954106047"><div class='flickrimg'><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2519/3954106047_74e1ff5cc7_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Remove the filter by pulling on it, and then remove the pump from the frame. The connector wires are soldered to the assembly. You will have to melt the solder or cut the wires.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;">
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3954886708/"><div class='flickrimg'><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2587/3954886708_d7d41ec5c6_t.jpg"/></div></a><br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3954887114/"><div class='flickrimg'><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3529/3954887114_aaefc41214_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
There’s an obvious size difference between the old pump and the new. Fit the sleeves that came in the package around the new pump - it will increase its diameter and make it fit snugly in the frame. The sleeves are optional.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;">
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3954887414/"><div class='flickrimg'><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2651/3954887414_d1d0dce91f_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
The short feeding tube at the bottom of the TRE pump and the similar tube on the OEM pump have different diameters and are positioned differently. To make the new pump fit we have to tinker a bit with the assembly frame.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;">
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3954887744/"><div class='flickrimg'><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2591/3954887744_38ab1118b5_t.jpg"/></div></a><br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3954109097/"><div class='flickrimg'><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3533/3954109097_1ffe67191f_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Carefully carve in the bottom support of the frame until the feeding tube of the new pump can fit through. Be mindful not to damage the frame too much. Either way, it’s not going to look pretty, but who cares – it goes in the tank!</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;">
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3954108155/"><div class='flickrimg'><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3535/3954108155_95b21c1bf8_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Solder the connector wires that came in the package to the terminal pins on the frame. I wasn’t very good at that job. I hadn’t soldered anything since shop class in school. So far I’ve used butt connectors for all the electrical work on this car.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;">
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3954108787/"><div class='flickrimg'><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2492/3954108787_54052afc9a_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Use the short fuel hose (came with the package) to connect the pump’s outlet and the metal tube which is part of the assembly.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;">
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3954889850/"><div class='flickrimg'><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2610/3954889850_db79609fe4_m.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Pressing gently against the pump’s bottom tube install the filter maintaining the same orientation that the original filter had. I also strapped the pump to the frame with a zip-tie although it wasn’t strictly necessary; the pump was snug enough in place.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>Insert the whole assembly with the new O-ring back in the tank. I couldn’t find an O-ring of the same size in any automotive shop and the local BMW dealer didn’t have one in stock so I decided to re-use the old O-ring. Let posterity judge me…</p>
<p>Reconnect and install the other pieces in the order they were disassembled.</p>
<p><strong>Work time:</strong> about three hours.</p>
<p>After I completed the procedure, the car started immediately, as expected. I have not noticed any unpleasant noise when the pump is in operation. Now I can only hope that this new pump will last as long as the original one did...</p>Big Fat Rathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637735648155964440noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4058497207296351452.post-52231977903063795712009-07-05T23:10:00.000-07:002009-07-05T23:51:25.154-07:00Rear brake pads and rotors<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3692107330/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3572/3692107330_7349bf1270_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Fresh from Germany</i></span></div>
The rear brake pads and rotors on my BMW were still the ones that came with the car when I bought it in 2005. They were worn out to the point the sensor was touching the rotor and although they may have had some life left in them I decided to replace them now rather than wait longer. The rotors were likely worn out beyond the minimal thickness suitable for re-surfacing (it turned to be true when I measured them) so I bought pads, wear sensor, rotors and rotor mounting internal-hex screws. It’s a simple procedure. This write-up is loosely based on the procedure described in the Bentley manual. Click on pictures to see notes indicating the location of various components.</p>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3691298603/"><div class='flickrimg'><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2437/3691298603_a495acaa17_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Jack up the car and remove the wheels. Release the hand brake.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3692104966/"><div class='flickrimg'><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2666/3692104966_1a661c15af_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
On the right wheel, disconnect the brake pad wearing sensor and release the connecting wire from the clip that secures it to the guide bolt cap.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3691298867/"><div class='flickrimg'><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2424/3691298867_1c0029aa25_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Remove the plastic caps that cover the caliper guide bolts.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3692105226/"><div class='flickrimg'><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3539/3692105226_75eee597b1_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
The next step was to remove the guide bolts themselves, and here’s where I noticed that I lacked the tool for it. The guide bolts have an internal hex head and my largest Allen key was still too small to fit in the opening. So here I am taking another trip back to Schuck’s in my wife’s car. This sort of emergency trip seems to happen every time I attempt a new maintenance procedure… I bought a full set of metric hex keys.</p>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3692105368/"><div class='flickrimg'><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2536/3692105368_e404972d4c_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Remove the caliper guide bolts.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3692105516/"><div class='flickrimg'><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3575/3692105516_6f213ee667_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Remove the anti-rattle spring by pressing on it and pulling, and pull the caliper out with the brake pads. It should come out without effort.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3692106308/"><div class='flickrimg'><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2442/3692106308_e47c6d9aff_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Continue with the removal of the rotors. Start by unscrewing the brake pad carrier bolts.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3691299941/"><div class='flickrimg'><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2550/3691299941_14a0592216_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Do not let the brake pad carrier assembly hang on the brake line. I suspended them with zip ties to the frame. S-hooks would do as well.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3691300279/"><div class='flickrimg'><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2456/3691300279_71c9f967c8_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Remove the mounting screw from the front of the rotor and pull the rotor from the hub. If the rotor is stuck to the hub use a soft mallet to free it.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3691300503/"><div class='flickrimg'><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2545/3691300503_ec267cf280_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
That’s when I noticed that the left-side shock absorber had a build-up of grease at the bottom. There is no motor oil in that area and the only place this could have come from was the shock itself. I traced the leak to the top part of the shock. To get to the source I pulled down the plastic boot that covers the piston (it was a bitch to put it back on the top cupped waster) and there it was: a puddle of clear oil on the cylinder cap. I’m pretty sure the shock is not supposed to leak. I must call BavAuto…</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3691301329/"><div class='flickrimg'><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2439/3691301329_42d94b91d7_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Install the rotors on the hubs. I used new mounting screws; the old ones were rusty. Clean the rotors with brake cleaner before installing the new pads.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3692107910/"><div class='flickrimg'><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3613/3692107910_93b1657d10_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Compress the piston back into the caliper to provide space for the new, thicker brake pads. I used a C-clamp. If the brake fluid reservoir is full to the brim, pushing in the piston may make the brake fluid leak through the screw cap of the reservoir.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>Install the pads in the calipers and put the whole thing back on. Don’t forget the new pad wear sensor on the right wheel.</p>
<p><strong>Cost breakdown</strong></p>
<p>All parts purchased from <a href="http://www.pelicanparts.com">Pelican Parts</a>.</p>
<ul>
<li>ATE brake pad set - $37.25</li>
<li>Brake pad wear sensor - $4.75</li>
<li>Balo rear brake disks (rotors) - 2 x 33.75 = $67.50</li>
<li>Brake Disc and Drum holddown bolt, 11mm Head - 2 x $2.00 = $4.00</li>
<li>About 5 hours of work, including two trips to Schuck's</li>
</ul>Big Fat Rathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637735648155964440noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4058497207296351452.post-43710296417713134172009-02-23T23:32:00.000-08:002009-02-24T22:12:16.240-08:00Headlights and douchebags<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3301475775/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3396/3301475775_a380252f6c_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>In need of an eye-patch</i></span></div>
One morning last summer I left the house and set off for work, only to discover that the left-side low-beam headlight of my beloved BMW had been smashed to bits during the night. At first I thought that some parallel-parking-challenged idiot with a high-set bumper has backed up accidentally straight into my headlight and left the scene. But there was no other damage to the front, which would have been consistent with such an incident. Upon taking a closer look it became apparent that the shards that were spread over the bumper and on the ground in front of the car weren’t only those of my lens – indeed they were mixed with pieces of a shattered bottle of beer. It all became clear in an instant: public drunkenness, vandalism under the cover of the night, <em>let’s do something dangerous and feel invincible and then, well, uh... run</em>. I could see the bottle label clinging to a pattern of broken glass – “<em>Miller High Life – The Champagne of Beers</em>”. The anger and cursing stopped for a moment as I thought out loud: what kind of douchebag drinks “The Champagne of Beers” anyway?</p>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3301476881/"><div class='flickrimg'><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3326/3301476881_94d045a769_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Only the exterior lens had been destroyed, the interior one was still intact, so I left it alone for the moment. For better or worse it worked, even if the light wasn’t diffused properly. But who likes to drive a car with gouged eye forever? It took me a few months and a couple of more important projects until I finally got to this one.</p>
<p>A new low-beam ellipsoid lens assembly runs for about $140, which I wasn’t willing to pay. A used headlight, complete with casing and both low- and high-beam lenses, goes for $150 on some web sites. With enough patience I found a guy who runs a junk yard on eBay, who was selling one full used headlight for $90. I offered him $75 and he accepted. I could have probably done better with more patience but the price was good enough.</p>
<p>Here’s how I replaced the broken headlight. <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/sets/72157614233794445/">The Flickr photo set</a> is arranged in chronological order. Click on pictures to see photo annotations indicating the location of various components.</p>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3301478015/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3436/3301478015_eeb49200f2_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Pop the hood open and remove the three retaining clips that hold the top part of the front grille.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3302311296/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3590/3302311296_3f8fb6140a_t.jpg"/></div></a><br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3301480429/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3500/3301480429_f4d369220a_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Remove the two retaining screws on the bottom side of the grille, left and right.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3302313726/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3298/3302313726_978be94fc2_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Remove the grille and then the three large screws that hold the headlight casing in place.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3301483045/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3576/3301483045_43bd856565_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Release the electrical connectors from the low- and high-beam light bulbs. Remove the headlight casing.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3302316878/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3372/3302316878_916a570ab5_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
At this point I noticed that the adjustment screws were located in different positions on the two casings. All photos of headlight assemblies that I was able to find online looked like my old one. The one that I had just purchased had the vertical adjustment screws in locations where the old casing had fixed, non-adjustable retaining screws. By all means of logic, the old casing seemed to have all its limbs in the right places and the new one was an aberration. How did the screws switch positions? Bad German assembly-line robot? Incompetent American mechanic? We’ll never know...</p>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3301483507/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3567/3301483507_4e1e46acee_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>One-eyed monster</i></span></div>
Being a stickler for correctness I decided to remove the lens assemblies from the new casing and install them on the old one. It seemed a better solution than the alternative of removing the new lenses, moving and adjusting the screws and re-installing the lenses. Besides, one the screws of the old casing seemed in better shape than the “new” ones, which were rusty and bent. I also decided to replace my old high-beam, which was chipped at the bottom.</p>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3301486189/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3342/3301486189_f35f73bb61_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
To remove the lens assembly from the casing the Bentley manual says: <em>“Using a hot air blower, heat the lens-assembly retaining clips, then pull out the light assembly.”</em> Having already tried that when I replaced the light bulb last summer I know by now that this statement is total bull. The heat from the blower is supposed to loosen the plastic clip that fits tightly on the tip of the retaining screw, which is shaped like a bulb. I tried that with a hair dryer and besides burning my fingers I wasn’t able to make any difference – maybe if I had had 100 additional Watts I would have fared better. In the end I had to apply massive (but gentle!) force, pulling the lens away from the casing. It’s not a trivial task when there isn’t enough room to stick both hands in the opening and pry the parts apart, and you can only use the tips of your fingers – all the while worrying about breaking the lens assembly tabs, which are just plastic after all.</p>
<p>A lot of cursing and name-calling certainly helped.</p>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3301488487/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3618/3301488487_32a1078f2f_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Installing the new lens assemblies on the old casing was much easier than removing had been. A couple of the retaining clips had broken in the process, but between the old and the new lenses I had enough replacements.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>I sure hope I don’t have to do this again any time soon. Stay away from my car. And if you drink that Champagne of Beers piss, stay away from me as well. All those who drink <em>Miller High Life</em> are douchebags. There are no exceptions.</p>Big Fat Rathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637735648155964440noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4058497207296351452.post-837847312778252742009-02-01T17:56:00.000-08:002010-09-25T12:41:41.656-07:00Confessions of a weekend mechanic<span id="hiddenpost"></span>
<p>I work a lot on my <strong>1988 325 BMW</strong>; I do maintenence and replacement, I get dirty and bruised and I curse a lot. The car is like a piece of software in constant need of debugging. Why? you may be asking, why not buy something newer, more reliable? The answer is a simple one - because I love this car. It's a hobby that I didn't ask for, it just came over me. It wasn't a conscious decision, it just happened that I came to believe that the E30s - the 3-series BMWs built between 1983 and 1991 (more or less) - are the most beautiful cars ever designed. So I got myself one in 2005 for 1400 bucks and I put much more into it since. Sure, I love other cars too... but they don't matter, honey.</p>
<p>Despite the many things that need constant attention, my Bimmer has never let me down. The only days I can't drive it are when I screw up some replacement procedure and I have to keep the car on jackstands for longer than I had hoped while I wait for a part that I had accidentally broken.</p>
<p>There are many web sites with do-it-yourself articles for the E30 cars; I always try to learn as much as possible from others' accounts before starting work on a new area. But I found out that no web site or book ever covers all the little traps you can fall into when you attempt a complex replacement procedure. Therefore I decided to write my own car maintenance stories, focusing on the procedures that I found unexpectedly hard, the tools that didn't fit in narrow corners and the unexpected discoveries that happen when you venture in uncharted territory. Enjoy the reading! Comments are welcome.</p>
<table>
<tr>
<td><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/sets/72157612221400785/"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3340/3176400416_0388a28bb2_t.jpg" width="100" height="67" border="0" /></a></td>
<td><a href="http://travelrats.blogspot.com/2009/01/replacing-shock-absorbers-and-coils.html">Rear axle: Bilstein Sport shock absorbers, shock mounts, and H&R OE Sport springs</a></td></tr>
<tr>
<td><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/sets/72157612700560732/" ><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3425/3192929165_b6ff244e68_t.jpg" width="100" height="67" border="0" /></a></td>
<td><a href="http://travelrats.blogspot.com/2009/01/front-axle-suspension-overhaul.html">Front axle: Bilstein Sport shocks, H&R OE Sport springs, shock mounts, control arms, and control arm bushings</a></td></tr>
<tr>
<td><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/sets/72157612700560732/" ><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3567/3301483507_4e1e46acee_t.jpg" width="100" height="67" border="0" /></a></td>
<td><a href="http://travelrats.blogspot.com/2009/02/headlights-and-douchebags.html">Replacement of a broken low-beam ellipsoid light assembly</a></td></tr>
<tr>
<td><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/sets/72157621021111790/" ><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2439/3691301329_42d94b91d7_t.jpg" width="100" height="67" border="0" /></a></td>
<td><a href="http://travelrats.blogspot.com/2009/07/read-brake-pads-and-rotors.html">Rear wheel brake pads and rotors</a></td></tr>
<tr>
<td><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/sets/72157622456046020/" ><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2519/3954106047_74e1ff5cc7_t.jpg" width="100" height="67" border="0" /></a></td>
<td><a href="http://travelrats.blogspot.com/2009/09/when-your-fuel-pump-goes.html">Fuel pump replacement</a></td></tr>
<tr>
<td><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/sets/72157622879232399/" ><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4044/4187026072_10bbbfb1e2_t.jpg" border="0"/></a></td>
<td><a href="http://travelrats.blogspot.com/2009/12/replacement-of-rear-subframe-bushings.html
">Replacement of E30 rear subframe bushings</a></td></tr>
<tr>
<td><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/sets/72157624884157849/" ><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4133/5014011362_7191a2789a_t.jpg" border="0" /></a></td>
<td><a href="http://travelrats.blogspot.com/2010/09/front-subframe-and-oil-pan-gasket.html
">Replacement of front subframe, oil pan gasket and motor mounts</a></td></tr>
</table>
<p>Unfortunately it's only recently that I decided to take pictures with every repair procedure. In the world of car maintenance repair articles are worthles without pics, at least to amateurs like me. Sadly, much of my past work has remained undocumented. These are some of the procedures I'm proud to have successfully completed:</p>
<ul>
<li>Valve adjustment</li>
<li>Steering pump leak repair (with silicone gel)</li>
<li>Fuel filter and fuel hose replacement</li>
<li>Various coolant leak repairs</li>
<li>Fix surging RPS at Idle caused by the throttle adjustment screw</li>
<li>Broken passenger's door actuator replacement</li>
<li>Turn signal switch diagnose and replacement</li>
<li>New driver's door lock cyliner, damaged by thieves who broke into the apartment's garage and stole the my gym bag along with a couple of cars</li>
<li>Door trim painting</li>
<li>Spark plug replacement</li>
<li>K&N air filter installation and cleaning</li>
<li>Oil change... duh!</li>
<li>New brake pads and rotors</li>
<li>OEM premium radio installation, dash repair</li>
<li>Replacement of various sensors</li>
<li>Other interior, exterior and engine-bay fixes, too many to enumerate</li>
</ul>
<p>I have a 2000 <strong>Jeep Grand Cherokee</strong> as well, the first car I ever owned (Yes, I got my driving license and first car at the age of 27, a late bloomer if you will). My wife drives it now. It doesn't get my whole love and I am not dabbling with the engine, the suspension or anything else beyond the "easy", but I'm still trying to keep it in decent shape.</p>
<table>
<tr>
<td><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/sets/72157613037768926/" title="Right wheel done! by fritz_da_kat, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3255/3231004728_bd3d5770b4_t.jpg" width="100" height="67" border="0" alt="Right wheel done!" /></a></td>
<td><a href="http://travelrats.blogspot.com/2009/02/jeep-grand-cherokee-door-latch.html">Right-side front door latch replacement</a></td></tr>
</table>Big Fat Rathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637735648155964440noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4058497207296351452.post-74136838955619031242009-02-01T17:07:00.000-08:002009-02-24T00:32:49.794-08:00Jeep Grand Cherokee door latch replacement<p><em>Should I change the name of this blog to <strong>carrats</strong>? No travel is "happening" anymore and since I cannot bring myself to blog about irrelevant details of my life or Saturday's night party, I'm filling it with maybe-less-irrelevant details about my one and only hobby left.</em></p>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3230261759"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3117/3230261759_b4a3a3fec7_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
The <strong>Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo</strong> model year 2000 has been my daily driver since shortly after I arrived in Seattle in 2000, until I discovered stick-shift driving and the E30 3-series BMW a couple of years ago. Then, there was no looking back and the truck became my wife’s car. It’s still the vehicle I rely on when it snows, when we need to purchase anything larger than a bag of groceries, and when I have to take more than one passenger – since the 3-series was designed with the idea in mind that the people sitting in the rear did not have legs.</p>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3230148119"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3434/3230148119_a896a4f262_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
The passenger's side front door latch of the Jeep had been broken for years, making a shrill buzzing sound when engaged. The door could only be opened from the inside. Since I don't drive it anymore I neglected this car for a while, until my wife pointed that if I invest so much time in the old, sickly BMW I could at least fix her door.</p>
<p>The new latch was $78.43 (how do they come up with these numbers?...) plus $11.80 shipping on eBay. He deserved his positive rating. The guy (airparkcjd) had more than 4000 sales and 100% positive reviews.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/sets/72157613037768926/">The Flickr set</a> is arranged in chronological order. Click on the photos to see notes describing the location of various components referred in this article.</p>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3230149073"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3356/3230149073_1c3a9b9f29_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Pry out the cap that covers the screw hole on the mirror flag bezel. (I have no idea why that piece of plastic is called "mirror flag bezel". It sounds a bit pompous and redundant.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3230998468"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3320/3230998468_068902f017_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Remove the panel-holding screw with a Philips screwdriver.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3230999354"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3387/3230999354_33ecac2144_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Remove the sheet metal screw located in the door cupped handle. On a side note, this screw was fine, but on the rear door, the screw had rusted and when I tried the same procedure it wouldn't budge. I soaked it with PB Blaster penetrating catalyst but I still couldn't loosen it. I applied force with various screwdriver bits until I destroyed the head and I had to drill it out.</p>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3231000202"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3375/3231000202_7a8f0cb59b_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Remove the Torx screw behind the door handle.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3230152405"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3462/3230152405_5a9be15dca_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Pull the edges of the door panel until the plastic retaining clips pop open. It's a good idea to have replacement clips, some may break when the panel is removed.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3231001658"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3106/3231001658_53166f5ce9_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Unhook the mirror electrical connector.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3231002446"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3517/3231002446_27b1028f7d_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Release the two main door latch rods from the inner handle mechanism. The plastic clips on the handle must be pushed hard to release the latch rods. Your fingertips will hurt.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3230154587"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3393/3230154587_12aca0093f_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Remove the main electrical connector from the door panel. Before you remove it, make sure the window is all the way up.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3231003886"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3119/3231003886_93e6a4a36d_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
A quick look at the underbelly of the beast…</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3231004728"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3255/3231004728_bd3d5770b4_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Pull out the moisture dam and expose the latch rods. The dam is held in place by a slimy, sticky substance. It will re-attach with a bit of pressure.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3230156981"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3316/3230156981_79ccfe1233_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Disconnect the inner latch rod from the external door handle mechanism. While it wasn’t that hard to get in there with the fingers and pry open the retaining clip, it was a total pain to take a picture of it because my lens can't focus under 2 feet. The clip is the little yellow spot at the top. It's the same kind of clip like all the others.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3231006218"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3099/3231006218_5c7203e8bd_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Unscrew the three Torx bolts that hold the latch to the door. At that point I realized I didn't have the right size Torx bit for those screws so I used a hex head and it worked nonetheless. Off to O'Reilly's to add one more set of screwdriver bits to my arsenal!</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3231007008"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3262/3231007008_8a2d3ca295_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Remove the latch assembly and disconnect the electrical connector.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3231007888"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3339/3231007888_028f217954_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
They look like evil metal bugs from outer space. The new latch (on the right) didn't come with the protective cover that the old one had, so I decided to reuse it.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3231008840"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3099/3231008840_e2d27a87e7_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Remove the single retaining screw that holds the cover to the latch, pry out the plastic cover and install it on the new latch.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3231009756"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3264/3231009756_46e6c8e1c7_t.jpg"/></div></a></div>
Ready for installation! Installation is the reverse of removal. Don’t forget to attach all connectors and latch rod ends before pressing the panel back into the door clips.</p>Big Fat Rathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637735648155964440noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4058497207296351452.post-10844520481917349372009-01-20T23:01:00.000-08:002009-02-02T09:59:47.966-08:00Front axle suspension overhaul<p>In the second installment of the E30 suspension upgrade story I continued with the front axle. Besides the <strong>Bilstein Sport shock absorbers</strong> and the <strong>H&R OE Sport springs</strong> <a href="http://travelrats.blogspot.com/2009/01/replacing-shock-absorbers-and-coils.html">whose counterparts I had already installed in the rear</a>, I also decided to replace the <strong>control arms</strong> and the <strong>control arm rubber bushings</strong>. Only that being lazy and not wanting to deal with removing the tightly fit old bushing and squeezing in the new one (stories go that this is pretty tough) I decided to buy new “lollipops” with the bushings already installed. On <a href="http://www.bavauto.com">bavauto.com</a> a new bushing costs $12.95 while the whole bracket goes for $49.95. A waste of money, I know, but what the hell - it was Christmas. The next time I surely won’t be spending so lavishly; I’ll probably just upgrade to urethane or M3 bushings which are more expensive anyway. I also replaced all the self-locking nuts during this procedure, as the manual recommends.</p>
<p><em>Click on pictures to see the exact location of the parts and components referred in this article. Click <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/sets/72157612700560732/">here</a> to see the full set of pictures.</em></p>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3204898793"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3484/3204898793_5519cc6f69_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Sensor wires</i></span></div>
Start by loosening the wheel lug bolts, then <strong>jack up the front of the car</strong> and put it on jack stands. In the course of those few days of work I noticed that my floor jack has started to slip – it slowly loses pressure and gives way. That’s not a good sign; I need to replace it although it’s only a couple of years old – how long are those things supposed to last anyway? Besides, it’s still too low at maximum extension (13”); this is more noticeable in the front – with the car elevated there’s still barely any place to move around under it... Remove the front wheels. Disconnect the ABS sensor wire from the hook on the strut housing and unscrew the ABS sensor from the spindle (5mm hex wrench). On the left side, disconnect the brake lining sensor.</p>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3205747486"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3130/3205747486_081cfd8675_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Brake caliper bolts</i></span></div>
Remove the <strong>brake caliper mounting bolts</strong> and slide the caliper off the rotor. Attach the caliper to the car body to avoid damaging the flexible brake hose. Do not let the caliper hang on the hose. I used zip-ties for this job – there’s an adequately placed hook in the wheel cavity.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3204901913"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3260/3204901913_baed65833e_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Caliper attached with zip-ties</i></span></div>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3204902711"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3434/3204902711_d03840327e_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Disconnect sway bar connecting link</i></span><br /><br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3205750150"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3412/3205750150_f23a215a15_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Broken subframe tab!</i></span></div>
Disconnect the <strong>stabilizer bar</strong> from the <strong>connecting link</strong> (the piece that’s attached to the control arm at the other end). At this moment I realized that the subframe tab that the sway bar supporting bracket was attached to was broken – my sway bar was kept in place by the two connecting links and by the right-side bracket – the subframe tab on the passenger’s side was still intact. I searched a little on the forums and it turned out that this is a common problem and the only solution, barring the replacement of the subframe, is welding. That sounds like a job for Boris, the Russian body mechanic that fixed my Jeep a few years back when I parked like an idiot and hit a garage pole.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3205746440"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3476/3205746440_8c764e9b9f_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Shock tower</i></span></div>
Before disconnecting the lower ball-joints, give a tug to the <strong>nut on the top of the shock absorber rod</strong>, just enough to loosen it. This trick, courtesy of <A href="http://zoso.no-ip.org">http://zoso.no-ip.org</a>, will make the removal of the nut easier when the time comes (otherwise the rod would turn on its axis). Do not remove the top nut at this time – as long as the spring is not compressed and pressure is still exerted on the shock mount, this would be very dangerous. I sprinkled the gland nut with PB Blaster penetrating catalyst, just in case the threads had seized, and let it soak overnight.</p>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3205751980"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3458/3205751980_5fa12efb63_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Tie rod and control arm ball joints removed</i></span></div>
Remove the <strong>tie-rod ball joint</strong> and the <strong>control arm ball joint</strong> from the strut housing. This was no walk in the park; the ball joint rods were stuck in their holes and I had to use pickle forks and a lot of force to release them. Maybe some PB blaster would have helped but I got so riled-up that I solved the problem by using a lot of muscle and I even hit the rods with a hammer until the darn things came out. I was gentle with the tie rod, which I was going to reuse, but I went berserk on the control arm joint. Despite all precautions I tore a cut in the tie rod protective rubber boot with the pickle fork. I see a tie-rod job in the future, just so that the suspension overhaul becomes complete...</p>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3204907537"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3075/3204907537_51d8be5a5a_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Compress the spring</i></span></div>
After disconnecting the three self-locking nuts from the shock tower I removed the strut, laid it on the floor and proceeded to <strong>compress the spring</strong>. By now, after using that compressor on eight springs (rear and front, 4 old, 4 new) I hate the thing passionately. It takes too much work, sweat and time to compress and release those coils. It bends and jams and I have to hit it sometimes with a mallet to re-adjust the clamping brackets. Luckily I don’t intend to do this again anytime soon. When the spring was compressed I removed the top rod nut, which was already loosened. I had to clamp the rod through the coils with a small pipe wrench while I unscrewed the nut. The original rubber shock absorber stop came out completely destroyed.</p>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3204909605"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3423/3204909605_326f9c16e2_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Removing the gland nut</i></span></div>
<strong>Removing the gland nut</strong> that holds the shock in the strut housing was a different story... To do this by yourself you need enough leverage; you have to hold the strut in place while you clamp a pipe wrench around the gland nut and twist it. I didn’t have vise grips or any other locking mechanism and my left arm just wasn’t strong enough. Superpowers would have been welcome; by that time I was already beat tired. I remembered that someone on <a href="http://forums.bimmerforums.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=20">bimmerforums.com</a> had suggested in an older thread that the strut be put back in the wheel during this procedure. That’s what I did, and I loosely attached it with two lug bolts. I stood on the wheel holding the strut housing under my foot while I clamped a large pipe wrench around the gland nut and turned – the nut came loose at the first tug. I lifted the bottom of the strut up a bit and hoisted it on some blocks of wood to let the oil drain out, and moved on to the control arms.</p>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3204912263"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3259/3204912263_48946b7603_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Disconnect the control arm from the frame</i></span></div>
Disconnect the control arm <strong>rubber bushing bracket</strong> (aka "<em>lollipop</em>") from the frame. That’s no big deal; they’re held by two easily accessible bolts. The outer ball joint was already free, so that left the inner ball joint nut as the last point of attachment.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3204913309"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3312/3204913309_86a985ac17_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Sway bar removed</i></span><br /><br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3205761996"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3365/3205761996_2be4433b3e_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Control arm <br />inner ball joint nut</i></span></div>
<strong>The inner ball joint nut</strong> was a major pain to remove. It’s not easily accessible and barely visible from under the car, so you have to feel your way around it. My socket didn’t fit in that place because there is a metal block behind the nut, too close to it to let the socket fit. Which left a the job to a regular wrench, but..., surprise-surprise, that’s a 22mm nut and I had no wrench that size (only the useless socket). During the subsequent late-evening trip to Schuck’s I found out that <strong>22mm</strong> was not a standard size included in any of the metric wrench sets that were on the stands for sale. Luckily they sell one individually for a few bucks. Not a ratcheting wrench, a simple one, mind you. It took forever to unscrew that nut; loosening it cost me a good bruise on my hand when it finally popped. The passenger’s side is even more evil – the exhaust is in the way, and so is a small heat shield meant to protect the control arm rubber bushing from the heat of the exhaust. There is no place to wield a wrench in there, thus I ended up removing the stabilizer bar bracket and the heat shield to get a couple of inches of clearance so I could move the wrench. The nut finally gave up and surrendered. The disassembly phase was over.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3204917691"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3123/3204917691_1263ba4071_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Tighten the Bilstein gland nut</i></span></div>
I began the installation phase by locking in the <strong>shocks inside the strut housings</strong>. Before you screw in the gland nut, don’t forget to place the white plastic ring that comes with the Bilsteins on the housing. This ring will hold the blue rubber boot that protects the piston rod from dust. To screw in the new gland nut I asked a friend to sit on the wheel and hold the strut in place under his foot while I operated the big pipe wrench. It dented the rim of the gland nut a bit but it doesn’t really matter. Legend has it that Bilstein sells a collar tool that fits on the gland nut, which you can attach a ratchet to. The tool doesn’t come with the shocks and you can’t order it from Bavarian Autosport. Someone posted the Bilstein part number 420017 for this thing, but I couldn’t find any reference to it on their web site catalog. So I used the wrench and it did just fine. I didn’t use any Loctite for this, I hope they hold well.</p>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3193774672"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3489/3193774672_51910a3fd6_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>The tools of the trade</i></span></div>
For the re-assembly of the strut I compressed the new H&R spring, and then I installed the <strong>new shock mount</strong>, reusing the rubber ring, the top spring retainer, and the washers, finally proceeding to tighten the top nut, with the compressor still attached. The tightening should be easy – you can put a 19mm wrench around the nut while you hold the hex-shaped top of the rod with an 8mm wrench. However due to a historic design accident, not limited to German engineering, the top rod nut goes inside the central cavity of the shock mount where it can't be easily reached. After some thinking and asking around I had to invent my own tool: a small 8mm socket, ¼” drive goes inside a large, deep 19mm socket, ½” drive. A 3”-long, ¼” drive extension is attached to the 8mm socket at one end, while the other end goes through the ½” opening of the larger socket and connects to a ratchet.</p>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3192929165"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3425/3192929165_b6ff244e68_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>The magic strut tool in action</i></span></div>
Holding the ratchet with one hand, clamp a pipe wrench around the 19mm socket and <strong>tighten</strong>. It’s still not perfect because of the need to use the pipe wrench, but there was no other practical alternative. I would have preferred a ¾” spark plug socket – the opening is exactly 19mm and fits the nut, while the top is hex-shaped and would fit a regular wrench. Unfortunately the top opening of those sockets is not large enough to allow for the ¼”-drive extension to pass through. Anyway, the resulting combination did the job perfectly. Some people have ridiculed it on the forums, proposing an <strong>impact wrench</strong> instead. That may have worked just as well but for three significant disadvantages: <strong>1)</strong> Bilstein recommends against using impact wrenches with the top nut (big warning on the shock installation papers) <strong>2)</strong> I would have had to mount the shock on the car with the spring compressor attached and remove the damn’ thing after the fact. There was not guarantee that the spring compressors were in the right position to make sure they would fit in the wheel cavity and would not be in the way instead. <strong>3)</strong> Good impact wrenches cost big bucks and aren’t essential equipment for an amateur weekend mechanic.</p>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3205765358"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3100/3205765358_fce465a11f_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Install the strut</i></span></div>
I put the <strong>strut back in the car</strong>, supporting it with the jack; the assembly is quite heavy and doesn’t make it easier for you if you’re trying to hold it in position with one hand while attaching the three top nuts inside the engine bay with the other. You’ll need either a helper or the jack. Since asking the wife was out of the question... I attached the tie rod once the shock mounts were secured.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3205766290"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3374/3205766290_d25bd13831_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>New lollipop</i></span></div>
Next it was the turn of the <strong>new control arms</strong>. To squeeze the lollipop on the end of the arm I lubed the rubber hole (lubed, rubber, hole... get it?) with some dishwasher detergent (which would evaporate in a short time leaving the joint tight) and pushed. With some force the arm end slid through. At this point the Bentley tells you to attach the control arms back as soon as possible and lower the car on the floor so that the control arms can settle inside the new bushings. I took them at face value and the rest of the procedure was a sort of race against time (oh my god, omg, what would happen if I take too long???).</p>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3205767234"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3504/3205767234_0386611d7e_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>The control arm is in</i></span></div>
The first thing was to tighten the <strong>inner ball joint nut</strong>, which was predictably a pain in the butt, as the removal had been. Then I screwed in the two bolts that hold the lollipops to the frame, and finally the <strong>outer ball joint nuts</strong>. As I was done with both arms I realized that the <strong>sway bar</strong> was still lying on the floor and it looked like it wouldn’t be the easiest thing to place it above the control arms. I tried unsuccessfully for a few minutes, but it was like trying to figure out a solution to Rubik’s cube – you’d figure out one side, but the other would come undone – then I gave up and detached one of the control arm bushing brackets. Sway bar in, lollipop tightened, brackets attached, calipers on, wheels on, go! I torqued all nuts to spec except for the two on the subframe. Those gave me enough grief just trying to fit them to their places – there was no way a torque wrench could have fit in there.</p>
<p>
<strong>Timeline:</strong>
<ul>
<li><strong>Friday</strong> night – get a head start – jacked up car, removed wheels, detached sensors, removed brake calipers</li>
<li><strong>Saturday</strong> – removed struts, compressed springs, removed old shocks and springs, removed control arms and sway bar, installed new shocks in strut housings, went drinking</li>
<li>Due to the last item on Saturday’s list, I woke up on <strong>Sunday</strong> with a hangover and no will to get dirty and do physical work, so I dragged it and made plans for the next day</li>
<li><strong>Monday</strong> I took the bus to work. That evening I bought parts for the makeshift strut tool, installed the shock mounts, and removed the spring compressors</li>
<li><strong>Tuesday</strong> evening – installed the struts, attached the tie rods</li>
<li><strong>Wednesday</strong> evening – control arms, done</li>.
</ul>
</p>
<p>I certainly learned a few things – I didn’t really have to change the control arms; the old ones looked good enough. But what the hell! ... In retrospect I bit more than an amateur like me could chew in one weekend. I’d recommend doing this in stages – one weekend the shocks and springs, the next the control arms, then the tie rods. Drinking on Saturday night may delay results. Even a professional mechanic, doing this on his own time, having to deal with wife and kids and grocery shopping, might find this job too much for one straight shot.</p>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3205768166"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3440/3205768166_1f26934622_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Worn-out rubber bushing</i></span></div>
The <strong>handling</strong> is much better now – adding to the improvements caused by the new rear suspension, there are a few noticeable changes. In curves the car always felt like it was going to keep moving ahead and the only thing that brought it to the course I was setting was the fact that it was still somehow attached to the wheels. Curves are now much more stable, the handling is reassuring. There was also a noticeable <strong>front vibration</strong> propagated through the steering column at about 55-60mph, which I ascribed to the worn-out control arm bushings. That vibration is now gone. Other than that I’m left with a car that’s slightly lowered, (a bit less than 1 inch), a lot of bruises and I still feel like I’ve been working out lifting dumbbells for three days straight.</p>Big Fat Rathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637735648155964440noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4058497207296351452.post-85521724742286662652009-01-07T02:57:00.000-08:002009-02-02T10:10:21.251-08:00Replacing shock absorbers and coil springs on the rear axle<em>This is not a travel post, it's a car post.</em>
<p>In my crusade to fix, upgrade and polish the old piece of junk (<strong>1988 BMW 325</strong>) I finally decided to tackle the rear axle suspension, which had felt horribly loose for a while. Moreover I kept hearing squeaking and screeching noises coming from the left side of the back of the car while driving.
Since my car is primarily a daily driver and will never see the track in its remaining days on earth I chose to upgrade the suspension with <A href="http://www.bilstein.com/mistore/productdisplayf.php?sku=108633&hdwt=31101&loc=101&dealer=&company_id=100484"><strong>Bilstein Sport shock absorbers</strong></A> and <A href="http://www.hrsprings.com/products/springs/"><strong>H&R OE Sport springs</strong></A>. This combination is supposed to lower the car but not too much - about one inch - and the ride won’t become too harsh as it would be the case with stiffer lowering springs.</p>
<p>Parts and tools:
<ul>
<li>Bilstein Sport shocks (rear)</li>
<li>H&R OE Sport springs (rear)</li>
<li>Shock mounts for the convertible model (sturdier design)</li>
<li>Self-locking nuts for the shock mounts</li>
<li>Shock mount gasket</li>
<li>Reinforcement plates – didn’t fit</li>
<li>Bunch of metric wrenches and sockets</li>
<li>Floor jack and jack stands</li>
<li>Blocks of wood tp put between the jack and body</li>
<li>Working light</li>
</ul>
</p>
<p>Click on images for better-resolution photos.</p>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3176395234"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3100/3176395234_1f5af86278_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>The rear wheel<br />before the procedure</i></span></div>
Shocks, mounts, gaskets and reinforcement plates are from <A href="http://www.bavauto.com"><b>Bavarian Autosport</b></A>.
The springs came from a guy who runs a high-volume automotive store on eBay. He had the best price, including the shipping charges, but in retrospect he was a deceitful jerk since he had advertised his product as “in stock” but instead had to order it from H&R. Because of this delay the package arrived in Seattle right as the snow storm was settling in, and then got stuck in the local UPS service center for 12 days before it was finally delivered. But I digress.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3176395420/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3431/3176395420_b9f865e579_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Right side shock mount</i><br /><br /></span>
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3175562321/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3392/3175562321_543fa887c9_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Left side shock mount, damaged</i></span></div>
Start by raising the back of the car and put it on jack stands, of course. Remove the wheels.</p>
<p>Partially remove the trim in the trunk to expose the shock mounts. Bending the trim is not an easy affair; it’s relatively rigid and hard to peel off and snap out of the grooves where it’s tucked in. That’s when I noticed that the right side shock mount had to be broken – there was a 2-3 millimeter gap between the upper cupped washer and the rubber piece. What do you know!</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3176395832/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3502/3176395832_0465795fa4_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Remove shock mounting screw</i><br /><br /></span>
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3175562715"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3384/3175562715_609a213e24_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Support the trailing arm</i></span></div>
Disconnect the shock from its lower mount on the trailing arm. Not supported by the shock, the trailing arm will drop a couple of inches. Be sure to support it before removing the shock mounting screw; the Bentley indicates that the sudden jerk of the trailing arm may damage the CV joints. I forgot to support the left trailing arm when I disconnected the shock absorber and it dropped quite sharply. Fortunately it doesn’t seem to have broken anything, the car rolls fine now; the Bentley understandably errs on the side of caution. Of course, I can never be sure unless I inspect the joints. After disconnecting the shock I supported the trailing arm with the jack for most of the time, to avoid unnecessary pressure on the joints.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3175562875/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3123/3175562875_2b3e9cfa5a_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>The old Sachs shock</i></span></div>
Loosen the two self-locking nuts that hold the shock mount to the frame. Supporting the shock from below, remove the mounting nuts and then the shock. In my case, if there had been a gasket between the shock and the car frame it has long ago turned into dust.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3176396486/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3522/3176396486_9cddaf9352_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Broken left side shock mount</i></span></div>
The right shock absorber looked worn out yet not too damaged, but the left one was downright broken. There is a metal tube which sits in the middle of the hard rubber at the center of the mount, that the shock absorber’s piston rod slides through. That tube was completely disconnected from the surrounding rubber. No wonder I had been hearing those noises coming from the rear left side of the car while driving! And no wonder that each time I went over a sudden bump in the road (like when the asphalt/concrete plates aren’t properly aligned, and the end of the current one is a bit lower than the beginning of the next) the whole back of the car felt like it was going to fall off.</p>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3176396784/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3337/3176396784_1e5fd6dac0_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Lowered exhaust, supported with zip ties</i></span></div>
Next, the spring had to be removed. This needed a little more work.</p>
<p>The Bentley says to disconnect and lower the rear part of the exhaust system from the brackets that support it, to allow for more room when the trailing arm is lowered. I did just that, but in retrospect I think this step didn’t help much. I supported the exhaust by hanging it with zip-ties from the upper brackets.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3175563841/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3468/3175563841_79ec30e68b_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Final drive mounting nut and bracket</i><br /><br /></span>
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3175564145/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3403/3175564145_c8e4ef07eb_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Disconnecting the final drive</i><br /><br /></span>
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3175564413/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3522/3175564413_be558bca51_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Final drive lowered</i></span></div>
Again, to make more room for the lowered trailing arm so that the spring can come out, I disconnected the final drive from its mount and pulled it down. It didn’t go too low and I didn’t want to force it. This didn’t seem to create any significant room for the trailing arm which was already lowered to the maximum anyway.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3175564729/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3099/3175564729_b0d7333007_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Disconnect the stabilizer bar link</i></span></div>
Disconnect the stabilizer bar connecting link from the trailing arm. This seemed to lower the trailing arm a little bit more, but again, there was no significant help (the stabilizer bar is called “sway bar” by some).</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3175566777/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3325/3175566777_5791002bf4_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>The old stock spring<br />ready to be removed</i></span></div>
At this point the Bentley leads you to believe that the spring can be simply removed by hand, but I realized that any attempt in that direction was hoplessly futile since I didn’t have the necessary superhuman powers to compress the spring by my bare hands. With the trailing arm lowered to the max the spring was still compressed and the ends of the spring were snug against the rubber mounts. Moreover the top and bottom spring supports have conical protrusions that fit inside the spring and secure it in position. There’s no way that spring was coming out on persuasion alone.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3176398348/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3489/3176398348_c1a9c01a29_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Spring with compressor on</i></span></div>
I squeezed in my spring compressor, but this was no simple task. There isn’t enough space to easily wield a wrench in there. While one of the spring compressor rods can be attached on the outside of the spring inside the wheel cavity, thus offering better access, the other one has to go on the opposite side, and gets wedged between the axle and the exhaust (on the left side) making the task of tightening the compressor bolts extremely painful. It took quite a while and a lot of sweat.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3176399408/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3528/3176399408_350761e06c_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>New H&R Spring compressed</i><br /><br /></span>
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3175565685/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3120/3175565685_2228254bae_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>New and old springs side by side</i></span></div>
After removing the old spring, I tried to put the new spring in without compression, thinking that maybe its shorter size would allow for it – but that initiative was doomed from the start as well, due to lack of superpowers. I compressed the H&R spring and installed it, after which - of course - I had to uncompress it in place, which takes an equally frustrating amount of time. Make no mistake: operating a spring compressor on mounted springs is hard work.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3176400416/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3340/3176400416_0388a28bb2_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Done!</i></span></div>
After the spring was finally in its cradle I installed the shock (reverse of removal). The two cupped washers on the old shock mount should be reused but everyone says the self-locking nuts should be used only once. I’m not sure why and didn’t bother investigating yet, so I got new nuts.</p>
<div style="clear:both;"></div>
<p>I had also ordered the reinforcement plates that were recommended by other people and by Bavauto. These metal plates are supposed to go inside the trunk between the body metal and the shock mount nuts, but they didn’t fit on my model. On one side of the body plate hole for the shock mount, the body plate has some sort of reinforcement bar which is about a quarter of an inch high. The shock reinforcement plate is too wide and goes over that bar; as a result, it doesn’t sit flat on the body and the lock nuts can’t be tightened against it. Useless!</p>
<p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3176400706/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3116/3176400706_f30baebef0_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Wheel after "surgery"</i></span></div>
The right side went easier due to the absence of the exhaust and the experience that I had already gathered by working on the left side. Finally, the car was ready to have its wheels back on and go out for a drive. However, as I was tightening the left-side shock mount to spec using a torque wrench, one of the threaded bolts broke in half and popped out with the nut on it. So close to victory, so close to showing off, so close to dinner! Damn it! Despair! Frustration! I didn’t want to keep the car lying useless on jack stands until I got a new mount so I installed the old right-side mount instead, which seemed to be still usable. On Monday I called Bavauto and they offered to send me a replacement shock mount at no cost. Great customer service! I hope it doesn’t get caught in the next snow storm...</p>
<p>After working on the rear suspension all Saturday I was planning to tackle the front the next day. But when I woke up I was in so much pain after the previous day-long workout that I had to schedule the front axle adventure for the next weekend.</p>
<p><br /><strong>Working Time</strong> - about 8 hours, with breaks. With more experience and better organization (the right tools always at hand, more space in the garage, etc) this could take significantly shorther, even for an amateur.<br /><br />
<strong>Difficulty</strong> - technically not too challenging, but it involves a lot of physical work.</p>Big Fat Rathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637735648155964440noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4058497207296351452.post-65949333704688073622008-12-24T23:56:00.018-08:002008-12-26T10:49:16.633-08:00Third world prices in America<div style="float: right; margin-left: 5px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/sets/72157611615069160/show/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3120/3134730310_b9e0a7dea3_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>No-nonsense prices!</i><br />Click photo to see slideshow<br />or <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/sets/72157611615069160/">here</a> for all those veggies</span></div>
<p>When I was traveling through South America, seeing the ridiculously low prices of fruits and vegetables I ranted on this site about our own grocery stores back home and the exorbitant prices they charge us for the same stuff. The only possible explanation for this rip-off is that it’s not a rip-off at all: we are subjected to a first-world standard-of-living tax that generously flows into an altruistic aid program that subsidizes the mom-and-pop grocers of the third world. Right?</p>
<p>It turns out that it doesn't have to be this way; the first-world sucker tax is optional. Upon our return, Angela has been struck by a sudden, lasting attack of anal-retentiveness and decided that grocery shopping needs to be done by a meticulous plan which will result in significant savings. Thus, for the last few months we have been shopping at the “Asian” grocery markets in the International District. I mean “Asian” in the blatant “most people who work there look vaguely Chinese” way. In those nondescript stores along and behind Jackson Street you can find not only the familiar fruits and vegetables sold by the ubiquitous Fred Meyer, Safeway or QFC, but also others that may require an advanced course in exotic foods before you can figure out what to do with them. The quality is nothing to balk at but the prices are the best part – everything is much cheaper than at the mainstream chain grocery stores. You spend 10 bucks and go out with three full bags. I took some pictures of their convincing price tags – and these are winter prices; in summer, the numbers are half.</p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3133909605"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3239/3133909605_fa31ebb613_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Cheap stuff for tightwads</i></span></div>
<p>Unless these guys get all their produce straight from China like Walmart or grow them in their basement closets under halogen light bulbs year-round they would have to buy from the same producers like the big stores. They charge lower prices and obviously manage to stay in business and survive the tough competition. This begs the question, why don’t the major stores sell at comparable prices? The answer is, beyond any economic theory bullshit, because they can. For a variety of reasons, the average white American doesn't shop in Chinatown. If you live in the suburbs you have no choice or you just don’t know better – the Asian groceries are confined to a 5-block stretch along Jackson Street, a small and not too interesting neighborhood south of downtown. However the backbone of the American nation, the soccer moms and baseball dads of Seattle, don’t shop in the I.D. because the place is obviously unclean, unhygienic, unsafe and full of foreigners with dreadful accents, who might as well be terrorists. That leaves the minorities, a handful of liberal hippies and the <a href="http://www.stuffwhitepeoplelike.com">expert-level white people</a> who – like me – have embraced ethnic diversity. Of course, only as long as it comes to cheap food.</p>Big Fat Rathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637735648155964440noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4058497207296351452.post-42557281923105407032008-12-07T22:42:00.010-08:002008-12-22T21:03:03.612-08:00Google makes the world grow stupid<div style="float: right; margin-left: 5px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/3092333068"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3117/3092333068_d53b5e9d7c_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>It's imaginary, just like your intelligence</i></span></div>
<p>It’s no surprise that a blog called “<strong>Run the Equator</strong>” gets the majority of its hits from people searching the web for something or other related to the Equator. I run a counter on this site which enables me to see how many people have reached it and where the clicks come from, within the limits of geographic IP address mapping. Don’t worry, the counter doesn’t tell me your name, phone number or email address, but it’s very good at measuring stupidity, and there’s no better dumbness-gauge than the words people use in web searches. Words? No, it’s entire phrases and personal questions that people ask Google these days.</p>
<p>The undeniable fact that Google has indexed and catalogued the entire world of online information has led certain of us to believe that the sum of human knowledge is at their fingertips and no effort is needed to retrieve it. Once upon a time it used to be that you needed to read the manual first in order to be able use a tool. If you wanted to get a book on a certain topic from the library, you had to know how to use the index cards or explain your concerns to the librarian, and later on, when you had the book in your hands you actually had to spend some time reading it to get to the information you were looking for. All this sounds pretty darn complicated, doesn’t it? Don’t worry, in the age of instant gratification all these time-wasting efforts have been made obsolete by web search. Who needs a brain when you’ve got Google?</p>
<p>You can get most of what you’re looking for to come willingly to your web browser, depending on your level of skill in manipulating search keywords, but no amount of search and indexing will redeem some of the lost souls who land accidentally on my blog. For their lack of common sense they deserve house arrest without access to the internet and an interdiction to procreate.</p>
<p>Most people get to my blog looking for something simple and objective, which can be expressed in simple queries: visas, information about a certain country or place I happen to have visited and blogged about, hostels, vaccines for the tropical world, travel information. These boring internet surfers seem to have read the manual and don’t expect the web to be able to cure AIDS and slice bread.</p>
<p>A few clueless dweebs, exhibiting a fair degree of anonymous honesty admit that they don’t know where or what this equator-thing is. Fair enough – in this day and age, operating a computer doesn’t require any level of formal education, like going to school. These guys seem to be struggling in a desperate quest for trivial knowledge. Unless they are 8 year-olds, they have already lost the battle and will soon land a job flipping burgers for the rest of their lives if they don’t already do so.</p>
<p>The frosting on the cake are those who have thrown all gray-matter from the skulls into the trash can and would rather be plugged into the Matrix than exercise their atrophied brains, the part of the population whose cortexes have been leveled with a clothes iron by the digital age. These guys ask Google the kind of questions you would ask of an oracle. One who has all the answers to all the riddles in the Universe, or at least to everything involving the Equator. Let’s take a look at the existential problems these monkeys are struggling with. Some questions require algorithmic answers, which reveals a certain complexity of the problem they are trying to tackle, but the mere fact that they ask the search question in raw, human form reveals their total lack of common sense with regard to technology and its limits. Some of them are merely stupid, others completely nonsensical, more appropriate to the prior category, many are just brilliant. The grammar belongs to them.</p>
<ul>
<li>do you have to pass the equator to get to Turkey</li>
<li>what towns are on the equator</li>
<li>countries which run through the equator</li>
<li>what's the distance of istanbul from the equator</li>
<li>India is as much a country as the Equator</li>
<li>continents that doesn't run through the equator</li>
<li>frostbite near the equator</li>
<li>map of india with equator on it</li>
<li>equator shit time lapse</li>
<li>honduras location due to the equator</li>
<li>map of thailand equator</li>
<li>where does the equator run</li>
<li>visa to equator</li>
<li>what rivers run away from the equator</li>
<li>ten countries along the equator that you fly along</li>
<li>I travel around the world but always in a corner i can cross the equator but only only make one trip</li>
<li>a list of all country the equator run through</li>
<li>turkey spain or egypt what is closer to the equator</li>
<li>lands lieng on the equator</li>
<li>the capital of the country that crosses the equator</li>
<li>india south of the equator</li>
<li>why is the Equator famous</li>
</ul>
<p>Those queries come from the activity logs of the last month only. Too bad I didn’t save the rest. I wanted to make a top-ten out of it but I can’t decide which one deserves the Darwin Award...</p>
<p>For all of you internet-indoctrinated morons, get an atlas! Google maps would do just fine.</p>Big Fat Rathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637735648155964440noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4058497207296351452.post-22742732592821330902008-08-09T21:02:00.015-07:002008-12-22T21:19:31.335-08:00So you want to know what my favorite place is?<p>"<strong>What was your favorite place?</strong>"</p>
<div style="float: right; margin-left: 5px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/2578592261/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3167/2578592261_2c874fd761_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>How's that for an answer?</i></span></div>
<p>I get this question all the time and it irritates me like a knitting needle stuck in my ear. Sometimes I think you ask it just to annoy me – but you’d have to be too devious for that, so I’ll go with the more reasonable assumption: that you’re opening your mouth only to ask the most predictable question because you don’t have anything to say, really. It’s a stupid question. I’ve been to 26 countries during my year-long trip; there wasn’t a lot that they had in common except that I had to eat, shit and sleep wherever I went, and the other tourists annoyed me equally everywhere… but I hardly think that’s a solid basis for a top-ten rating.</p>
<p>I don’t ask you if you like steak more than ice cream. Or whether Scarlett Johansson is hotter than Angelina Jolie. Or whether you prefer beer or coffee. Those, along with the one you keep asking me are stupid questions and do not deserve to be answered. Whatever the answer may be it doesn’t communicate any relevant information and is not going to advance the conversation in any way. It’s just meaningless chatting for the sake of it.</p>
<p>There’s a gazillion of reasonable questions you could ask, that may lead to a funny and interesting conversation. Let me help you a bit:</p>
<ul>
<li>Where did you have the toughest communication experience?</li>
<li>Where did you spend the most money?</li>
<li>Where did you have the craziest binge-drinking night?</li>
<li>Where was the best diving?</li>
<li>Where did you smoke the most dope?</li>
<li>Did you get laid anywhere?</li>
<li>Did you have to go to the hospital anywhere?</li>
<li>Did you ever get scammed by a con artist and fell for it?</li>
<li>Did you get robbed anywhere?</li>
<li>Did you get into a bar fight anywhere?</li>
<li>Did you steal from anyone?</li>
<li>Did you run naked out in the street anywhere?</li>
<li>Where did you have the worst diarrhea?</li>
<li>Where did you make the best friends?</li>
<li>Where did you have the worst hotel room?</li>
<li>What was your weirdest experience?</li>
<li>Were you ever afraid for your life?</li>
</ul>
<p>But no, you all prefer to ask me the same inane question, one that doesn’t even have a relevant answer to boot. Look, I liked all the countries I visited and I hated some of them at the same time – sometimes for the same reasons. You could figure this out on your own if you paused to think for a second before opening your mouth, but since you’re so narrow and you lack any spark of imagination you keep asking me what my favorite place was as if I were 16 and I had to have a favorite movie, a favorite band or a best friend.</p>
<div style="float: right; margin-left: 5px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/2232176879/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2036/2232176879_26b4005cef_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>I think before I speak!</i></span></div>
<p>I should throw the nearest wireless mouse at you when I hear that question, but I’m medicated well enough so I usually restrain myself. Instead, if I suspect that the person I’m talking to has a bit of a brain left and would be able to see the error of their ways with a bit of help or if I believe that the question was just a momentary lapse into stupidity on the part of an otherwise clever individual (don’t we all?) I’ll say that the countries I liked fall into two distinct categories: those that you fall in love with at first sight, as soon as you get off the plane - like South Africa or Greece or Spain - and those that have to grow on you, like India, Laos and Bolivia. Aside of this coarse classification each country strikes you by one or more dominant attributes that make it unique: it can be the picture-perfect beauty of nature, the ethereal strangeness of the landscape, the good time you had with people you met, the rotting garbage lying in the open, the permanent harassment you were subjected to, the beautiful wild animals, the breathtaking diving on the coral reef, the raging night-life, the hot topless girls on the beach, the soaring snow-capped mountains or the delicious exotic food. You may prefer one or the other in certain situations but no single one tops the rest; I’d have to just pick one out of my ass. Not that you would care. You want clichés? Here’s one for you: stop asking me to compare apples with pears!</p>
<p>Even if I had a favorite country… how would it advance your knowledge of the world if I told you anyway? Stop asking me dumb questions just to be nice. If you don’t have anything to say, just shut up. Man, I hate people.</p>
<p>You want a list? I got one! You order it, stop asking me.</p>
<ul>
<li>I loved <strong>Mexico</strong> for the soaring Mayan pyramids lost in the jungle and its cheap tacos. And because it was the first destination on our trip</li>
<li>Going to <strong>Belize</strong> because going there was a childhood dream come true</li>
<li>I loved <strong>Guatemala</strong> for Antigua’s beautiful ruined convents and Tikal’s army of howler monkeys who scared me to death at 4 in the morning</li>
<li>I loved <strong>Honduras</strong> because the bunch of guitar-playing hippie divers I met on Roatan reminded me of another time in my life</li>
<li>I loved <strong>Ecuador</strong> because that’s where my Spanish unlocked its brakes. And because I met Michael and Mor in the Galapagos</li>
<li>I loved <strong>Peru</strong> for the crushing dignity of its Inca fortresses and for giving me enough diarrhea to fill a bath tub</li>
<li>I loved <strong>Bolivia</strong> because it’s the underdog of South America and the Altiplano made me feel like I was on the moon</li>
<li><strong>Argentina</strong> filled my belly with the greatest steak on the planet and gave me wireless internet in every coffee shop</li>
<li><strong>South Africa</strong> had the bluest skies I’ve ever seen</li>
<li>In <strong>Namibia</strong> I floundered to the on top of a giant red sand dune at sunrise and saw lions having sex</li>
<li>In <strong>Botswana</strong> I followed fresh animal tracks through the savanna and saw a herd of elephants coming out of the fog</li>
<li><strong>Zambia</strong> made me famous for fifteen minutes and helped me earn $1000 in royalties</li>
<li>In <strong>Malawi</strong> I kept looking for the other shore of the lake while I sipped cold beer</li>
<li><strong>Tanzania</strong> showed me a place that redeemed all ugliness in the world</li>
<li><strong>Kenya</strong>… well, I didn’t really visit Kenya but it still had <a href="http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/kenya/">the coolest song in the world</a></li>
<li><strong>Egypt</strong> crushed me under millennia of history and showed me that sometimes locals just want to talk to tourists without demanding money</li>
<li>In <strong>Greece</strong> I realized that I could drink tap water again but I turned into a wino instead</li>
<li><strong>Italy</strong> lead me back to Rome, and for a day I was an all-powerful pasta-eating emperor. Maybe Caligula.</li>
<li><strong>Spain</strong> had scores of delicious tapas and smoky crowded bars and Gaudi and pretty girls everywhere and Robert and Eva</li>
<li><strong>Romania</strong> is still where I return when I want to remember the smell of hay and fresh snow and roasted pig-ears</li>
<li>I almost had my fingers amputated by frostbite for taking my hands out of my mittens to take pictures in front of the <strong>Hungarian</strong> parliament</li>
<li>In <strong>Turkey</strong> I shed a tear for the defunct Constantinople and then gorged myself with pide and baklava in Istanbul</li>
<li><strong>India</strong> overwhelmed me with unusual sensations, crushed me with its mass of humanity and got me some peace of mind, if only just for a short time...</li>
<li><strong>Thailand</strong> explained to me what the song “One Night in Bangkok” was all about</li>
<li>I loved <strong>Cambodia</strong> because you cannot believe that a place like Angkor Wat really exists until you see it</li>
<li>In <strong>Laos</strong> I wanted to become a bearded, balding, homeless dope-head just to forget that I had to return home and look for a job...</li>
</ul>Big Fat Rathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637735648155964440noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4058497207296351452.post-23221214141531771832008-07-18T02:01:00.020-07:002008-07-26T11:02:20.453-07:00An open-ended list of things that pissed me off around the world (and still do)<p>I was going to call this one “<em>Ten things that pissed me off around the world</em>” but once I began to think about all the times I was annoyed, pissed off or wished I had a shotgun to blast someone out of their idiotic useless existence during the course of this trip I couldn’t stop counting and soon I used all the fingers of my two hands and took my socks off so I can start counting using my toes. Hence the current title.</p>
<ul>
<li><h3>1. White people waiting for a table in front of a restaurant in Cuzco.</h3> Why the hell would you want to stay in line for lunch with twenty other idiots wearing <em>The North Face</em> jackets at a place that has burgers, roast-beef sandwiches and steak fries at 3400 meters altitude in Peru? Because you’re too much of a coward to try to experience any of the local food in a city that has a million restaurants and because it looks very much like any joint you would find in your pathetic town back home, so it makes you feel safe. If you miss your own corner deli and their stinky pastrami so much, stay home.<br /><br /></li>
<li><h3>2. Public service employees begging for a handout like they deserve it.</h3> This asshole day-guard walks up to me in the museum of Coptic Christian history in Cairo and asks me “<em>You Christian?</em>” “<em>Yes</em>” (I’m not but in Egypt you’re either Muslim or Christian, there’s no such thing as an atheist) “<em>Me too, see?</em>” (Shows me a cross. Grins. As if now we’re buddies) “<em>I have 10 children. Give me money.</em>” He’s following me through the building so I give him a 1-pound note to shake him off. He looks at me like I did him wrong “<em>Only 1 pound? More! 10 children!</em>” and stretches his hand again. Piss off. I took the pound note back and left him there. Asshole. If you really have 10 children and can’t care for them you should have gotten a vasectomy.<br /><br /></li>
<li><h3>3. Listening to the same idiotic questions from other tourists you meet.</h3> <em>Where did you come from? Where are you going next? Did you like X? Are you visiting Z?</em> Shut up. It’s all the same. I didn’t talk to you, so stop talking to me because it’s obvious you don’t have anything interesting to say. Do something useful and leave me alone.<br /><br /></li>
<li><h3>4. Dishonest hotel managers.</h3> So this place is a shithole and you still want me to pay in advance for four nights? And you told me 40 Euros on the phone and now it’s 50? How the hell did you get into Lonely Planet anyway? Their editors must be on crack.<br /><br /></li>
<li><h3>5. Inane “must see” places that are just boring pieces of junk.</h3> If the top attraction in the city is the public library that exhibits some gorgeous murals from a celebrated local artist, just spare yourself the effort and time and don’t go there. Lonely Planet is on crack.<br /><br /></li>
<li><h3>6. Imbeciles who show up early for everything.</h3> On our 40-day African safari our guide would announce every evening the schedule for the next day: “<em>tomorrow morning, the wake up call is at 6:30, breakfast at 7, we leave at 7:45</em>″. Each morning, as I woke up at 6:30, the other white people had already packed their tents. By 7, they were done with breakfast and were idling around casting passive-aggressive looks of disapproval at me. Bite me! I’m not going to bend to peer-pressure, I need my beauty sleep.<br /><br /></li>
<li><h3>7. Yes, we have hot water. Yes we leave at 10am.</h3> Everyone lies. You’re just a big fat wallet on legs. Get used with it or bring a shotgun.<br /><br /></li>
<li><h3>8. Rickshaw drivers in Asia.</h3> When you take a ride to town coming from the station with your backpack the driver always knows a great hotel, just around the corner – usually a shithole that gives them commission for every clueless guy they drop at their door. Those assholes all have an incurable ear disease – they can’t hear the word “no”. Maybe a jackhammer would help.<br /><br /></li>
<li><h3>9. White people trying too hard to embrace local traditions.</h3> During the water festival in Chiang Mai everyone gets wet and everyone throws water about and nobody gets mad. But when you see a group made exclusively of tourists armed with buckets and water pistols, dousing every open-back taxi truck that passes - a day after the festival has officially ended - showing them the finger is not only ok, it becomes mandatory.<br /><br /></li>
<li><h3>10. Paying 2 Euros for plain coffee.</h3> Seriously. Europeans are crazy. They should all grow a pair and boycott Starbucks but I’m afraid it’s too late, they’re hooked.<br /><br /></li>
<li><h3>11. Local travel agencies that charge a heavy markup for stuff that you can get for less around the corner.</h3> And the morons who do not do their homework and keep paying, perpetuating the scams.<br /><br /></li>
<li><h3>12. Fat balding Anglo sex-tourists trying to make dinner conversation with Thai prostitutes who don’t give a shit.</h3> You know who you are. And I stared and snickered at every single one of you just to make you feel even more self-conscious, defeated and worthless than you are.<br /><br /></li>
<li><h3>13. Paying too much for poor service because you have no choice</h3> Getting on the island… cheap. Getting off the island… not so cheap. What are you going to do? Ask to speak with the manager?<br /><br /></li>
<li><h3>14. Douchebags who rave about how awesome and spiritual India is.</h3> All you little shits who act elated, telling everyone who’s within earshot that “<em>India is, like, soooo awesome, so spiritual, I wish I never had to leave, this is the best place ever, man! You don’t understand!</em>” like you are the first person in the universe to ever get laid - go live in the slums on a less than a dollar a day like 90% of India’s population, without bottled water, internet and your stupid iPod, go sell paan or drive a rickshaw for a living and then come and proclaim your epiphany to the world. You are an idiot and nobody cares about your pseudo-intellectual bullshit and your condescending “enlightened” attitude.<br /><br /></li>
<li><h3>15. Retarded teenagers checking their Facebook “walls”.</h3> You absolutely have to stay in touch or else your friends will stop loving you. And make sure you use all caps and poor grammar, it makes you look smart. “I’M IN THAILND LOL AND ITS SO KEWL WE HAD DA BEST PARTY YOUR NOT GOING TO BELIEV WHN U C THE PICTRES!!!!1” Seriously… better free that bandwidth for someone who has more important things to do, like uploading an angry blog that nobody reads!<br /><br /></li>
<li><h3>16. Horrible European tippers.</h3> I don’t tip more than the norm (whose norm? mine!) because I think that some professions are already making lots of undeserved money. Take bartenders, for example: one dollar a drink? Are you kidding me!? But even I wanted to take a shotgun at the Euro-dipshits who dropped only 10 dollars in the tipping pot for the army of porters who, for four days in a row, had set up our tents, cooked our meals and transported all the heavy equipment on their backs running barefoot at lightning speed while we were trudging and sweating our way on the Inca trail for the sake of our crusty pathetic egos. Israelis, Aussies and Kiwis included at a discount.<br /><br /></li>
<li><h3>17. Losers who visit the Coliseum and have no idea where they are.</h3> Who is this guy Octavian Augustus? Look, that statue is naked! (chuckle) Who built all these ruins? Was it the Romans? What's the capital of Rome? Not that anyone cares, but these people make us look like a nation of uncultured idiots and help perpetuate the stereotype that all Americans are stupid and they only know how to make war on other countries. Amen!<br /><br /></li>
<li><h3>18. Jackasses on group tours, who show too much skin in public in Muslim countries.</h3> Nobody, anywhere, needs to see your lard bulging under your belly-shirt. If you happen to be hot you’ll get more attention than you want for that deep cleavage and the short skirt. Maybe some of those pious, innocent men will get into accidents turning their heads because of you. The traffic will be jammed for hours and I’ll be stuck in a cab without air conditioning, listening to bad music, until they dig the bodies out and remove the rubble. All because you showed cleavage. You monster!<br /><br /></li>
<li><h3>19. Everyone else.</h3> Stay home. I hate people.<br /><br /></li>
</ul>Big Fat Rathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637735648155964440noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4058497207296351452.post-54927423602290149422008-05-22T14:58:00.017-07:002008-05-24T22:23:25.541-07:00Almost Famous<div style="float: right; margin-left: 5px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/1489349707/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1067/1489349707_316d1edb9b_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Down the drain</i></span></div>
<p>A few months after we left Africa, a <a href="http://fogonazos.blogspot.com">blogger from Spain</a> who maintains a popular site where he collects bits of information about interesting and strange places and events <a href="http://fogonazos.blogspot.com/2008/02/swimming-at-edge-of-victoria-falls.html">wrote an article</a> about the adrenaline-junkies messing around in <strong>Devil’s Pool</strong>, the natural swimming pool at the edge of <em>Victoria Falls</em>, which we had visited in September. He assembled a few photos and videos off the internet and linked them to the original sources. Within days, my flickr picture set on Victoria Falls was getting thousands of views. I tracked the clicks back to the referring site, to find out to whom I owed this unexpected surge in interest – for once the view count of my travel pictures of exotic places was surpassing that of my older photos of drunk girls kissing in dark and noisy clubs.</p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/1489347561/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1055/1489347561_a698fbd224_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Rich and famous... and beautiful!</i></span></div>
<p>By April, the story was making the rounds on the internet and a few news agencies caught wind of it. Devil’s Pool hasn’t been discovered yesterday; in fact tourists have been going there for a quick adrenaline-loaded swim for decades. But it looks like every generation needs to be reminded of the same things over and over. There’s just too much information floating around for us to be aware of; knowledge that isn’t in your face daily (and even that) is forgotten fast – how else would you explain the avalanche of movie remakes these days? Hollywood began by reissuing and updating movies from the forties, which were understandably unknown to most of the population currently living on Earth, but with each revamping project they are getting closer and closer the movies of our times – money-making entertainment machine has married attention-deficit disorder and their children are the placebo soothing pills of our anxieties. Soon they’ll be remaking next year’s movies today… but I digress…</p>
<p>A British online news agency contacted me on flickr and asked for permission to use my pictures – in exchange for publishing credit and compensation. I gladly agreed – who doesn’t want to be famous on the internet? – and they wrote a short article that appeared in the online versions of a few British newspapers. The reporter asked me for some quotes about my experience, which he wanted to use in the article. Among others, here’s what I said; this quote was reproduced without much journalistic adjustment:</p>
<blockquote>“Being in Devil's pool is a serious adrenaline rush for the first few minutes. If you jump (you can also get in gently) it adds up to the excitement. The thought that you may get sucked away from the relatively calm waters of the pool and down the foamy hell into the pit makes you giddy with apprehension - although you have to stray far out quite a bit for that to happen. It's great fun - some people enjoy it quietly, swimming, looking, thinking, while others keep screaming to no end.”</blockquote>
<p>I also told the reporter that we chose to go swimming in Devil’s Pool instead of trying bungee jumping because there would be plenty of opportunities for bungee in other places, but swimming at the edge of a 360-feet waterfall is not something you can do anywhere and anytime. That was quoted as <em>“[…] said it was better than bungee jumping”</em>. Well, damn you reporters! I have never jumped anyway, so I wouldn’t know.</p>
<p>Within days I also gave publishing rights to <em><strong>BBC Brazil</strong></em> and to <em><strong>Ripley’s Believe It Or Not</strong></em>. Before I could say “waterfall” my quote and pictures were syndicated in online newspapers and magazines around the world, translated from English into Portuguese, Polish, Turkish, hell knows what else, and even Romanian. They also made it into a printed version of the US entertainment magazine <em>“<strong>In Touch</strong>”</em> – which I am considering suing for millions owed to me in royalties. Wouldn’t you?</p>
<div style="float: right; margin-left: 5px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/pbaggas/306461756/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/105/306461756_85f05ee7b5_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>OMG! A child! Save him!<br />This guy had his share of online bashing</i></span></div>
<p>The readers’ comments online were mixed – half of the people adhered to the <em>“this is soooo cool, I want to do it too”</em> opinion, the other half supported the <em>“these people are idiots, they should put themselves out of the gene pool”</em> position. An even more divisive discussion went on about the people who had their children in Devil’s Pool with them: one group (consisting, of course, of people who have never been to Victoria Falls) kept screaming bloody murder <em>“I can’t believe these idiots can be so reckless to take their children in the pool with them and expose them to such danger,”</em> to which the second group would reply: <em>“get a life, these children are obviously not in danger; if it were up to you, the social services would rule everybody’s lives and children would go to the playground swathed in bubble wrap.”</em></p>
<p>So, uhm… I’m famous! Do you want to hang out with me?</p>
<p><strong>Note</strong>: not all photos featured in the articles listed below are mine. While all those news items quote my words and mention my name, the photos come from various sources. In some case, other Victoria Falls pictures have even been mistakenly attributed to me.<br />Some of the links below may become dead over time. The internet moves fast…</p>
<h3>Article Links:</h3><br />
<h4>UK</h4>
<a href="http://www.swns.com/photoshoot.php?ID=990">South West News Service</a><br />
<a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-561261/Is-ultimate-dangerous-infinity-pool-world-The-natural-water-hole-perched-edge-Victoria-Falls.html">Daily Mail Online</a><br />
<a href="http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/topstories/2008/04/23/tourists-pose-for-photographs-on-the-edge-of-victoria-falls-89520-20392241/">Daily Mirror</a><br />
<a href="http://www.metro.co.uk/news/article.html?in_article_id=144222&in_page_id=34">Metro Online</a><br />
<a href="http://travel.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/travel/news/article3792999.ece">Times Online</a><br />
<a href="http://news.opodo.co.uk/articles/2008-04-23/18563855-Tourists-take.php">Opodo Travel News</a><br />
<a href="http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/42243/Thrill-seekers-swarm-to-Victoria-Falls">Daily Express</a><br />
<a href="http://www.atlasdirect.net/news/Misc/Adrenalin-seekers%20go%20to%20Victoria%20Falls.aspx">Atlas Direct</a><br />
<a href="http://www.thelondonpaper.com/cs/Satellite/london/news/article/1157151478830?packedargs=suffix%3DArticleController">The London Paper</a><br />
<a href="http://insurance.essentialtravel.co.uk/news/travel-news-article5783.asp">Essential Travel</a><br />
<a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/1898882/Tourists-pictured-on-edge-of-360ft-falls.html">The Telegraph</a><br />
<a href="http://www.2by2holidays.co.uk/18563860_daredevil_craze_proving_popular_in_zambia.asp">2by2 Holidays</a><br />
<br />
<h4>Brasil</h4>
<a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/portuguese/reporterbbc/story/2008/04/080424_cachoeiraaventura_np.shtml">BBC Brasil</a><br />
<a href="http://ultimosegundo.ig.com.br/bbc/2008/04/24/foto_a_beira_de_catarata_gigante_vira_mania_entre_turistas_1284929.html">Ultimo Segundo</a><br />
<a href="http://g1.globo.com/Noticias/Mundo/0,,MUL424640-5602,00.html">Globo News</a><br />
<a href="http://www.camera2.com.br/home.asp?inc=noticias&subinc=noticia_view&cod_noticia=127036">Camera2</a><br />
<a href="http://www.ziptop.com.br/jornalnh/noticias/noticias_interna.asp?canal=71&ed=60&ct=212&cd=116742">Jornal NH</a><br />
<br />
<h4>Viet Nam</h4>
<a href="http://vietbao.vn/The-gioi/Be-boi-nguy-hiem-nhat-the-gioi/65128910/168/">Viet Bao</a><br />
<br />
<h4>Romania</h4>
<a href="http://www.tion.ro/stiri/mapamond/articol/ultima-destinatie-pentru-doritorii-de-senzatii-tari-piscina-diavolului/cn/news-20080424-09074260">Timis Online</a><br />
<a href="http://femina.rol.ro/divertisment/timp-liber/piscina-pe-marginea-prapastiei.htm">Femina</a><br />
<a href="http://www.ziua.ro/news.php?id=5973&data=2008-04-22">Ziua</a><br />
<a href="http://www.click.ro/pe-glob/piscina-pe-marginea-prapastiei">Click.ro</a><br />
<a href="http://www.cancan.ro/2008-04-24/Senzatii-tari-in-piscina-Diavolului.html">Cancan</a><br />
<a href="http://stiri.kappa.ro/magazin-monden/senzatii-tari-salt-de-pe-buza-uneia-dintre-cele-mai-mari-si-mai-periculoase-cascade-din-lume/stire_134037.html">Kappa</a><br />
<a href="http://www.informatiazilei.ro/ultima-destinatie-pentru-doritorii-de-senzatii-tari-piscina-diavolului-foto/2598">Informatia Zilei</a><br />
<a href="http://www.antena3.ro/Ultima-destinatie-pentru-doritorii-de-senzatii-tari-Piscina-Diavolului-(Foto)_bt_48338_ext.html">Antena3 (hacked)</a><br />
<br />
<h4>Austria</h4>
<a href="http://www.orf.at/080423-24295/?href=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.orf.at%2F080423-24295%2F24296txt_story.html">ORF</a><br />
<br />
<h4>Croatia</h4>
<a href="http://www.24sata.hr/index.php?cmd=show_clanak&tekst_id=59455&_no_browse=1">24sata</a><br />
<br />
<h4>Poland</h4>
<a href="http://przewodnik.onet.pl/1223,1660,1484487,0,1,najbardziej_niebezpieczne_kapielisko_swiata,artykul.html">Onet.pl</a><br />Big Fat Rathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637735648155964440noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4058497207296351452.post-27574193167658866972008-05-04T13:57:00.012-07:002008-08-20T00:22:17.176-07:00Life after the road<!--geodata
{ "locations": [
{"type": "as", "lat": "13.749263", "long": "100.515946", "name": "Bangkok"},
{"type": "as", "lat": "11.970807", "long": "102.381325", "name": "Ko Chang"},
{"type": "as", "lat": "13.749263", "long": "100.515946", "name": "Bangkok"},
{"type": "as", "lat": "35.676796", "long": "139.769972", "name": "Tokyo", "direction": "east"},
{"type": "as", "lat": "47.603859", "long": "-122.32974", "name": "Seattle"}],
"zoom": "1"
}
geodata-->
<p> “Sir, are you finding everything ok?” the sales associate with a fake smile interrupts my moment of day-dreaming.<br />
“Yes, of course,” I say and I walk away, but I am irritated, and I don’t know if I’m annoyed more by the fact that she talked to me when I was obviously not trying to make eye contact or by her choice of words - the most aggravating conversation opener used by salespeople in the northwest.<br />
“Do you want to apply for our store Visa credit card today?” I am told later at the cashier’s desk, again, with a huge, unjustified smile.<br />
“No.”<br />
“Do you know you can save ten percent of your purchase price today if you apply for the credit card?”<br />
“Yes, and I still don’t want it.” Please stop offering me things I don’t need. Just ring me up and take my money.<br />
“Do you want to donate one penny for the Special Olympics?” the grocery store checkout clerk asks me.<br />
“No.” I look her straight in the eyes but my laser gaze misfires. I don’t care for the Olympics, special or not, and I only donated money once, long ago, during the Microsoft giving campaign, to a cancer research institute. I am a bad person and I do not want to save the world. I swipe the credit card; the cashier gives me the bag with groceries and before she hands me the receipt she takes a brief look at it, then turns back to me and says, sporting the same punch-me-in-the-face smile: “Thank you, mister Sturgeon.”</p>
<p>I give her the look of death again, but I don’t say anything. I’m back home and it’s generally considered impolite to tell people what you think, i.e. I really, really don’t want you to act like you know me and say my name when you thank me for shopping at Safeway; I do not need you to try to make me feel like I am at the neighborhood mom-and-pop store and you’re my best friend. And certainly I don’t want you to butcher my name mispronouncing it, which is more likely to happen than not.</p>
<p>Now that I can compare I realize that the salespeople at home are just as annoying as those from the Cairo bazaar, albeit a bit less aggressive; they just have a different style. I don’t know what is more pitiful or irritating – the impertinence and obstinacy of street-vendors and taxi drivers in third-world countries, asking you, the presumably-rich foreign backpacker, for prices five times higher than what they expect to get in the end, or the excessively obsequious and unnecessarily friendly attitude of American sales associates working for commission or simply being forced to apply what their management considers good customer service.</p>
<div style="float: right; margin-left: 5px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/2466341333/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2163/2466341333_89037c5f31_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Urban bliss</i></span></div>
<p>Later that evening we have dinner at a local restaurant in Queen Anne. The over-the-top friendly waiter talks too much, and pushes the specials of the day at machine-gun-fire speed, his smile so wide and bright I could almost believe he loves being there with us more than anything else in the world. At the end of the meal I take the bill and add the tip, 15% before tax, plus a few pennies to round up. It’s been a year since I last had to figure out a waiter’s tip, write it down on a bill and do some post-dinner math. In most places we had just followed local customs – leave some coins to show that you don’t care much about the petty change in most small eateries; tip nothing in Europe or risk getting the “pathetic American sucker” look; add up to 10% in more upscale restaurants anywhere else.</p>
<div style="float: right; margin-left: 5px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/2466345245/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3035/2466345245_7927fd2371_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>New home</i></span></div>
<p>A trip cannot last forever; sooner or later, moving from place to place every few days becomes too exhausting and starts undermining the desire to travel; slowly, the need for some sort of stability, for a home, settles in. And now, a year after packing up and cramming all our belonging into a 12x10 storage room, we ended up back in the same town that we used to call home before this adventure started. There are quite a few things about Seattle that I did not miss during our year away. The semi-permanent rainy season is one of them. Having to pay 8 dollars for a plate of Thai food that used to cost me one dollar merely a few days before is another. The price of gas, the housing market, car and health insurance, being stuck in traffic on the way to work listening to an uninspired morning show on the radio…</p>
<p>I can’t let those things and thoughts take more importance than they are due. There are plenty of reasons why it’s fine to be back at home. During the past week I saw a few of my old friends: some have longer hair, some have lost a bit more of theirs. Some have lost or gained weight, others have more wrinkles around their eyes. But they are still the same people and I’m glad to see them again.</p>
<div style="float: right; margin-left: 5px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/2466339027/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3097/2466339027_65c8dfa5f9_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Hi sweetie!</i></span></div>
<p>I missed the way our beautiful little city shines on a sunny day, the clean, quiet tree-lined streets in the residential neighborhoods, and the views of downtown from the freeway. I missed drinking microbrew ales on tap at a local tavern, the Capitol Hill coffee shops and my favorite Thursday night hangout. I missed working out at the gym and having a proper bathroom. I needed to be around my horses, play my guitar, and maybe most of all, I missed my weathered, beat-up 1988 3-series BMW, which still needs new suspension, a few sensors and a replacement left-side door lock since thieves broke into our apartment’s garage more than a year ago. Maybe if I get a job I will be able to afford all that.</p>
<p>Strange as it sounds, after a year of keeping my brain in hibernation I miss having a job – just the exciting parts of it, the challenges, the rewards and the fun, not the stress and the occasional nights and weekends spent trying to meet a deadline.</p>
<p>Life is normal again. Or is it?</p>Big Fat Rathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637735648155964440noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4058497207296351452.post-26238807237220659102008-05-01T16:56:00.002-07:002008-05-01T18:55:19.044-07:00Return addressWe're back in Seattle. Life goes on, even after you've been traveling for one year. Updates soon... this blog does not end here.Big Fat Rathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637735648155964440noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4058497207296351452.post-36266131528291779982008-04-20T01:23:00.017-07:002008-04-21T22:18:10.528-07:00No one stays dry in Chiang Mai<!--geodata
{ "locations": [
{"type": "a", "lat": "18.75622", "long": "98.999726", "name": "Chiang Mai", "image": "http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2039/2422410821_ec1c84a9f7_t.jpg"}],
"zoom": "6"
}
geodata-->
<div style="float: right; margin-left: 5px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/sets/72157604602408982/show/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3173/2422414357_99eb2def82_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Splaaaaash!</i><br />Click photo to see slideshow<br />or <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/sets/72157604602408982/">here</a> for all Songkran photos</span></div>
<p>No one, really. Unless you lock yourself in your hotel room and order food delivery you will get wet sooner or later. During the three days of <em>Songkran</em>, the Thai new year festival, most of Thailand's population is locked in an extraordinary water-dousing fight match, which involves everyone who sets foot in the street, from children (the first to start, days ahead of the official festivities), to older people, to hapless - or willing - tourists. The only people who do not become targets for the buckets of water thrown at random all over town are the few brave street-food vendors who defy the flood hoping to make a penny - even wet people grow hungry sooner or later. In the general exhilaration, no one pours water on them on purpose, but bucket handles slip occasionally and aims are missed...</p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/2423233952/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3233/2423233952_e4f04e586e_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Caught in the act</i></span></div>
<p>The situation is especially intense in Chaing Mai, the second-largest city in Thailand, a town become famous precisely because of the madness that takes place on its streets each year between the 13th and 15th of April. The old part town is shaped like a perfect square with sides roughly one-kilometer long, and used to be surrounded by defensive walls and a wet moat. There aren't many bricks left standing from the old wall, but the moat is alive and doing very well these days. While the water-craze takes over the whole town, the streets that run along the four sides of the square are the epicenter of action and fun - that area sees more water per square inch in a day than the country sees in a week of monsoon rains. Pickup trucks jammed with wet people cruise along slowly, loaded with barrels full of water. Every now and then the merry passengers fetch a pail and throw it at the passersby. At the same time, in the snail-paced traffic, they are easy targets for the walking crowd. Once in a while everyone stops to refill their weapons of choice: buckets, pails or water-guns - from the moat, of course. The water is warm and brown, so you better keep your mouth closed when a pailful lands on your head. It may not be an easy resolution to keep, if you are stunned out of your senses by a sudden splash of icy water!</p>
<div style="float: right; margin-left: 5px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/sets/72157604605821997/show/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2345/2423178182_01ba341506_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Hanging out at the moat</i><br />Click photo to see slideshow<br />or <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/sets/72157604605821997/">here</a> for all Chiang Mai photos</span></div>
<p>I bought a big squirting water gun for the outrageous price of 200 Baht (which I managed to wrangle down from the original 300) - if you get caught in the middle of a war without a weapon, you pay dearly for the privilege of taking part in the hostilities. Half an hour later it broke and refused to squirt; after trying unsuccessfully to fix it for a few minutes I abandoned technology in favor of tradition and bought a small pail - it was easier to refill and inflicted greater damage - especially when I was able to sneak around the people who guarded their barrels of ice-water, steal a scoop and pour it on them. There's only one rule to the game - nobody gets upset.</p>
<div style="float: right; margin-left: 5px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/sets/72157604606075007/show/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2104/2422400089_af1ec35a3f_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Hungry!</i><br />Click photo to see slideshow<br />or <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/sets/72157604606075007/">here</a> for all cooking school photos</span></div>
<p>The other highlight of our stay in Chiang Mai was the day-long cooking class on Thai food, which we took during the festival. After an entertaining visit to market, where we got acquainted with the various vegetables and spices, the following delicious dishes where cooked and subsequently devoured by each of us, seven <i>farang</i> eager to unlock the secrets of those exotic recipes:</p>
<ul>
<li>Stir-fried chicken with cashew nuts</li>
<li>Deep-fried fish cakes</li>
<li>Spicy Tom-yum soup with prawns</li>
<li>Chicken green curry over rice</li>
<li>Fish souffle in banana leaves</li>
<li>Pumpkin custard pie</li>
<li>Pad Thai noodles with pork and prawns</li>
<li>Fried spring rolls</li>
</ul>
<p>On our way back to the hotel we got drenched, but we managed to save our self-cooked dinner, thanks to the magic superpower of multiple layers of plastic bags.</p>
<i>Posted in a hurry from Bangkok, our last stop on this trip. Home is almost in sight!</i>Big Fat Rathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637735648155964440noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4058497207296351452.post-9387032744453249562008-04-17T01:15:00.011-07:002008-04-17T21:56:34.694-07:00The longest boat ride<!--geodata
{ "locations": [
{"type": "as", "lat": "19.898085", "long": "101.138655", "name": "Pak Beng"},
{"type": "a", "lat": "20.266494", "long": "100.423848", "name": "Huay Xai", "image": "http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2394/2418708450_2db5b54274_t.jpg"}],
"zoom": "6"
}
geodata-->
<div style="float: right; margin-left: 5px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/sets/72157604570452515/show/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2385/2417885275_bfc59b01b7_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Burning land</i><br />Click photo to see slideshow<br />or <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/sets/72157604570452515/">here</a> for all Mekong trip photos</span></div>
<p>The major attractions of the Laos tourist track are strung like beads on a rope along Route 13, which spans the whole length of the north-south axis of this country shaped somewhat like a deformed cooking pan or a spiked battle axe. Once you’ve seen the south and followed the Mekong northwards through the “panhandle” to Vientiane, once you’re done with tubing and partying in Vang Vieng and got your share of temple photos in Luang Prabang, you have a choice: you can either continue the arduous land journey north, to the remote highlands in the Phongsali province, or you can return to Thailand - which is what most tourists do. It wouldn’t be much fun to backtrack your steps all the way to Vientiane in order to cross the border; no traveler likes seeing the same roads again on their way home. Fortunately, there’s a better alternative: the Mekong.</p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/2418708450/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2394/2418708450_2db5b54274_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>A cozy spot</i></span></div>
<p>From Luang Prabang to Huay Xai on the Thai border, the river journey takes two days by slow-boat. These are long, low-floating, single-deck covered boats capable of transporting a few dozen passengers. Called slow-boats for the obvious reason that there are also fast boats on the same route, most tourist prefer them to the faster alternative for reasons related to comfort and safety - the fast boats are minuscule, ultra-light contraptions that can only seat a few cramped passengers and move at break-neck speed; they have been known to flip over occasionally, with deadly consequences. The level of comfort on the slow boat varies with the number of people and the quality of the seats. Most boats have a few rows of reclining seats that look like they have just been ripped out of a minibus – in fact they are just that: minibus seats whose metal railings have been mounted on pieces of wood so they won’t damage the lacquered wooden floor planks. In addition to those, the boats hold a number of movable small wooden benches who look - and are - very uncomfortable; in the long run, the coziest spot for resting may end up being the floor. There is a bathroom on board and drinks are can be purchased. You can walk around, stretch your legs or lie down if you chose, and with the right company, be that people you like or a good book, you can spend the time pleasantly. And time you have, if nothing else; each day, for 10 hours, the boat munches its way against the current through the never-ending jungle-covered hills, through swats of land fallen victim to the yearly slash-and-burn agricultural ritual, through mountains of layered sediment brought downstream by past floods and millions of monsoon seasons.</p>
<div style="float: right; margin-left: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/2418708668/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2270/2418708668_b7e5d79416_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Sunset on the river</i></span></div>
<p>There is a travel agency in every house on the main street in Luang Prabang; all of them sell tickets for the slow boat - at a charge. They seem to be doing a good business of it - few tourists bother going down to the slow-boat landing to check the prices at the ticket office. The fare to Pak Beng - a riverside village where you must spend the first night, half-way between Luang Prabang and the Thai border - is 110,000 kip for foreigners (about $12.50), but the more brazen agencies will slap an extra 30,000 kip ($3.50) on your back – one of those rackets is right near the ticket booth! In Pak Beng the ticket for the second leg of the trip costs 115,000 for foreigners, but if you fall for the tricks of the few Luang Prabang agencies who sell the ticket all the way to the border, you’ll pay a lot more. As usual, it’s worth checking prices in advance - buy the ticket at the pier or negotiate with the travel agencies. Sadly, the complacent attitude of many tourists, “oh, it’s only three more dollars, never mind,” works against everybody’s interest giving a blank check to businesses’ greed. It only helps drive prices higher for both locals and tourists.</p>
<p> “How many hours to Pak Beng?” I ask the lady behind the desk at the travel agency.<br />
“6 or 7. Boat leaves at 8:30 in the morning.”<br />
“On the second day, are we going to arrive at the border before it closes?” I wanted to know if we had to spend two more nights in Laos or just one.<br />
“Yes.” I realize I just asked a question leading to the answer that I wanted to hear, so I rephrase:<br />
“What time do we arrive at the border on the second day?”<br />
“At three o’clock,” she assures me. The border closes at 6PM, so we may make it to the Thai side the same day. Three different agencies give me similar answers.</p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/2418704594/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2314/2418704594_4e0b3d2b83_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Slash and burn</i></span></div>
<p>But we didn’t make it in time. The first day of traveling, we took 9 hours to Pak Beng. The second day we spent 10 hours afloat and we arrived in Huay Xai after dark. What is this worldwide tendency of travel agents to lie to their customers about arrival times? They know how long the trip really takes, don’t they?! We would have taken the boat anyway, even if they had told us the truth... Spending a last night in Laos wasn’t bad at all. I enjoyed the last few Beerlao (one of my favorite lagers on this trip) with Craig, Rae and Jordan, some Aussies we had met on the boat, and spent our last kip which were going to become useless once we arrived in Thailand – you can pay for almost everything in Thai baht on the Lao side of the border but you cannot use kip anywhere else.</p>
<p>And so the next day we crossed the river into Thailand and took a minibus to Chiang Mai. We had reached the last destination of our year-long journey.</p>
<em>Posted from Hat Sai Khao beach, Ko Chang island, Thailand.</em>Big Fat Rathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637735648155964440noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4058497207296351452.post-45059745062337816172008-04-13T22:18:00.013-07:002008-04-17T21:59:43.885-07:00Luang Prabang, a Kingdom afar<!--geodata
{ "locations": [
{"type": "a", "lat": "19.884339", "long": "102.142139", "name": "Luang Prabang", "image": "http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3220/2404797347_8201c451d2_t.jpg"}],
"zoom": "6"
}
geodata-->
<div style="float: right; margin-left: 5px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/sets/72157604488606593/show/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2022/2405576034_f40aa47582_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Luang Prabang is ready for business!</i><br />Click photo to see slideshow<br />or <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/sets/72157604488606593/">here</a> for all Luang Prabang photos</span></div>
<p>Laos is a communist state, and therefore the official propaganda is still reviling all the social evils that the <em>Pathet Lao</em> party has triumphed upon with its seizure of power in 1975: capitalism, imperialism, and monarchy. But the voices of the official party line are more likely to be muffled these days; the tune is a different one, in sync with the political realities of China and other nominally-communist states that have abandoned the economic doctrine of collectivization: “get rich if you can, but do not dare defy the party”. And the Lao are very busy trying to make money; every day of the week is business as usual in Luang Prabang for night market sellers, for <em>tuk-tuk</em> drivers, for tourism agencies, restaurants and guesthouses.</p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/2405605764/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3159/2405605764_de47416458_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Dark clouds over the Royal Palace wat</i></span></div>
<p>Even the tough stance on monarchy - a staple of propaganda literature of all communist regimes - has softened in recent times: there are amulets for sale at the market with carvings and pictures of the late kings of Laos, and the neatly preserved <em>Royal Palace Museum</em> in Luang Prabang is the main tourist attraction in town. It’s a rather austere royal residence, more of a large country mansion than a sumptuous palace. As a museum, it provides a good insight in the simple lives of the royal family of a poor, mountainous kingdom, squeezed between more powerful neighbors. In the room reserved for diplomatic gifts to Laos from other states, there’s a noteworthy token of appreciation sent by US President Nixon (hence still addressed to the Royal government, since Nixon’s presidency ended before the communists took power): a scale model of the Apollo 11 lunar module and some tiny bits of lunar rock cast in a glass bubble supported by a plaque which bears a miniature flag of the Kingdom of Laos and an inscription in English saying that the flag has been flown to the moon and back. A strange and cynical gift to the people of Laos, considering that at the time the United States was busy bombing their country to bits.</p>
<div style="float: right; margin-left: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/2404754381/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2071/2404754381_490e6b103f_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Reclining Buddha on Phu Si hill</i></span></div>
<p>“<em>Stay another day!</em>” – the words of this unofficial tourist mantra of Luang Prabang lure you from street banners, advertising windows and tourist brochures all over town. We stayed four days, defying the crushing heat, surviving a sudden storm that nearly flooded our room, patrolling the courtyards of many slumbering temples and drinking a lot of <a href="http://www.beer-lao.com/"><em>Beerlao</em></a> (the one and only locally-produced beer, and quite a good one) with extra ice, to prevent it from growing warm too soon in the hellish outside temperatures. We slept at the <em>Oudomphone Guest House</em>, whose owner, an older, very effusive Lao lady, calls herself <em>mama</em>, feeds you bananas whether you want them or not, and stays awake late at night to make sure every one of her guests returns to the nest. On a whiteboard in the ground-floor corridor she makes annotations about the rooms of the house - the current prices, which rooms are empty, and a check sign for the tenants who have returned at night. I wonder what she would do if one doesn’t show up until the next morning… She also gave us a thick comforter to cover ourselves with at night, although there was no need for such radical care…</p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/2405598092/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2199/2405598092_0bb56f0dc1_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Inside Wat Xieng Thong</i></span></div>
<p>Every morning we started the day with breakfast at the <em>Scandinavian Bakery</em> (who knew the Swedes had a reputation for things cooked in the oven?), which serves great pastries, delicious sandwiches and all-you-can-drink fresh brewed coffee. Every evening Angela finished the day with a few hours of hunting for bargains at the <em>Night Market</em> on the main street; luckily she had <A href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/2384232301/">Rahel</A> to keep her company among the mountains of cuteness set for display on the pavement, and I was able to spend this time online, keeping up with the blog and uploading photos. The nights weren’t much to talk about; we’d celebrate our trip with a few more bottles of Beerlao or glasses of wine - there’s a swanky, well-stacked wine bar on the main street in Luang Prabang - but the whole town shuts down around 11PM and the only place to hang out was mama’s terrace at the guesthouse.</p>
<div style="float: right; margin-left: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/2404780217/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2053/2404780217_b70b7dcf4d_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Wet and happy!</i></span></div>
<p>Between morning coffee and evening-time Beerlao, the days in Luang Prabang can be packed with activities. There are only so many temples that one can visit before they all start looking “<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tinglish">same same</a>”; the <em>Phu Si</em> hill, located smack in the middle of town offers great views, but after climbing the few hundred steps to the top, baking slowly under the unforgiving sun, anyone would be beset by doubts that the photo opportunities were not worth the effort and sweat. For the rest of the time, short of spending money in the scores of good-looking cafes and restaurants meant for the tourist dollar it’s better to head outside of town for a river trip, to visit caves or to swim at the waterfalls. On our third day, we took a half-day trip to <em>Tat Kuang Si</em>, a scenic waterfall a half-hour drive away from town. We were supposed to get wet swimming in the natural pools at the base of the falls, but we ended up getting dunked and drenched on our way back by the kids who ambushed every car, truck and motorcycle and doused them with buckets of water. They were getting a bit of advance practice for the water festivities of the <em>Lao New Year</em>, and it seemed that the season for splashing <em>farang</em> was already open. They had no mercy.</p>
<em>Published from Chaing Mai, Thailand.</em>Big Fat Rathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637735648155964440noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4058497207296351452.post-56090024151745094852008-04-10T09:48:00.008-07:002008-04-16T05:21:51.278-07:00Vang Vieng<!--geodata
{ "locations": [
{"type": "a", "lat": "18.912459", "long": "102.366203", "name": "Vang Vieng", "image": "http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3145/2392617408_b62ffa1197_t.jpg"}],
"zoom": "6"
}
geodata-->
<div style="float: right; margin-left: 5px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/sets/72157604407063806/show/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3241/2391786641_5e05a06ec5_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>The road to the river</i><br />Click photo to see slideshow<br />or <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/sets/72157604407063806/">here</a> for all Vang Vieng pics</span></div>
<p>If you take <em>Lonely Planet</em> seriously you would think that Vang Vieng has graduated into the Major League of non-stop party scenes, right there with Bangkok's Khao San road, The Strip and Ibiza. The reality however, is not nearly as frightening as that. Sure, Vang Vieng has already become a fixture on the Laos backpacking circuit, a mandatory stop on the South-East Asia tourist trek, and for good reasons. Tubing (while drinking, optionally) down the Nam Song river is drawing a steady stream of enthusiastic, boisterous water-splashers; the more adventurous fill their day with adrenaline-loaded activities like caving, kayaking and rock-climbing; the scenery is breathtaking, the jagged karst mountains jutting out of the rice fields, dominating the landscape for miles.</p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/2392618810/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2082/2392618810_c9538fb2dd_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Still peaceful</i></span></div>
<p>On the more decadent side, in what has become a trademark of the Vang Vieng experience, many restaurants play endless reruns of <em>Friends</em> on their street-side open patios, drunk <em>falang</em> in their bathing suits waddle their way in the middle of the street to the next bar, and the famous <em>happy-shakes</em> are more popular than ever. But the charm of the place has not yet been spoiled by unrestrained partying. In fact, I found the town rather quiet; there were few tourists around and no loud music was blaring from speakers at the bars. The vibe was peaceful... still. Perhaps the fact that all of Laos more-or-less shuts down at 11pm plays a role in that.</p>
<p>We didn't stay here too long, only enough to have a drink at a riverside restaurant admiring the magnificent sunset over the mountains and to do a bit of tubing the next day. Angela and our travel-friend Rahel did the tubing, I did the drinking...</p>
<em>Posted from Chiang Mai, Thailand.</em>Big Fat Rathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637735648155964440noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4058497207296351452.post-43606675298991964332008-04-07T04:42:00.008-07:002008-04-07T08:00:24.499-07:00The most relaxed capital in the world<!--geodata
{ "locations": [
{"type": "as", "lat": "16.673148", "long": "104.990376", "name": "Ban Xeno"},
{"type": "as", "lat": "17.394841", "long": "104.81305", "name": "Tha Khaek"},
{"type": "as", "lat": "18.348851", "long": "103.937406", "name": "Paksan"},
{"type": "as", "lat": "18.4547", "long": "103.427417", "name": "Ban Nongkeu"},
{"type": "a", "lat": "17.968073", "long": "102.613634", "name": "Vientiane", "image": "http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2146/2391741381_72d054eb73_t.jpg"}],
"zoom": "6"
}
geodata-->
<div style="float: right; margin-left: 5px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/sets/72157604407042528/show/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3135/2392572074_3ff5e41665_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>The Great Stupa</i><br />Click photo to see slideshow<br />or <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/sets/72157604407042528/">here</a> for all Vientiane pics</span></div>
<p>There's not a lot you can do as a tourist in Vientiane. Sure, you can take pictures of the the photogenic Great Gilded Stupa, you can visit a few peaceful Buddhist <em>wats</em>, or you can stroll along the corridors of the National Museum through exhibits about the revolutionary history of Laos. But most of all, you will end up appreciating the restaurants that this town has to offer. The locals seem to be very proud of their flimsy French colonial heritage; bakeries, cafes, croissants and wicker chairs are pleasant fixtures of the city center streets. Many appealing, tastefully decorated dining establishments boast international cuisine on their menus - there is even a Mexican Taqueria on the river front - and most offer a very good, tasty deal for your money.</p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/2392558926/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2376/2392558926_031acf269e_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Tech-savvy monk</i></span></div>
<p>Surprisingly, the first few hotels we looked at as we got off the night bus from Pakse, were all booked solid. After wandering around in circles a few times, increasingly frustrated, looking at the "full" signs set up on top of many reception counters, we found a decent room at the <em>Orchid Guesthouse</em>, with bathroom, TV and air conditioning for $16. It was a little expensive, considering that Laos was supposed to be still one of the cheapest tourist destinations, but it seems that the <em>Lonely Planet</em> effect is being felt around here as well. As soon as something is listed in one of their famous, popular guidebooks the prices increase, sometimes up to double. You cannot negotiate much for room rates in Laos, even less so in remote rural areas like the Bolaven Plateau; more than once we arrived at guesthouses that were practically empty, yet they wouldn’t budge when I tried to haggle. Prices increase naturally over time, and the dollar is at a historic low nowadays, but these sudden radical adjustments of the most recent published rates seem only motivated by the greed of local businesses and the willingness of the tourists to pay without questioning. In the words of a bitter forum member on the <em>Thorntree</em> message board: "<em>I travel with a f#@%*! Lonely Planet guide only so I know to avoid all the places listed in there!</em>"</p>
<div style="float: right; margin-left: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/2391719035/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2262/2391719035_9451d98e6e_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>No incoming traffic?</i></span></div>
<p>One day is all you need in Vientiane if you don't have any special business to attend to. I did - I had to apply for another tourist visa to enter Thailand again; unfortunately Romania is not on the list of the countries whose citizens are exempt of visas or can receive them on arrival. The process was as easy as ever: you stay in line to apply, you wait in a stifling room for your name to be called so you can pay the 1000 baht fee (about $30) and you pick up your passport the next day. And since Vientiane is a small town, I didn't even need to pay for a taxi to take us to the consulate and back - we rented bicycles and explored the town on wheels; the flat land and the absence of heavy traffic makes biking a very appealing alternative to tuk-tuks.</p>
<p>After two days we continued on our way north - the next stop was Vang Vieng, the backpacker's mecca in the mountains of northern Laos.</p>
<em>Published from Luang Prabang</em>Big Fat Rathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637735648155964440noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4058497207296351452.post-83900722408056610172008-04-05T05:05:00.017-07:002008-04-05T06:39:12.768-07:00Rural adventures in southern Laos<!--geodata
{ "locations": [
{"type": "a", "lat": "13.985703", "long": "105.94025", "name": "Don Det", "image": "http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3128/2384232301_8dc4cde32d_t.jpg"},
{"type": "as", "lat": "15.114293", "long": "105.802786", "name": "Pakse"},
{"type": "as", "lat": "15.433213", "long": "106.382881", "name": "Thateng"},
{"type": "as", "lat": "14.807745", "long": "106.83926", "name": "Attapeu"},
{"type": "as", "lat": "15.180275", "long": "106.238545", "name": "Paksong"},
{"type": "a", "lat": "15.114293", "long": "105.802786", "name": "Pakse", "image": "http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2196/2385099640_9da8f64ab7_t.jpg"}],
"zoom": "6"
}
geodata-->
<div style="float: right; margin-left: 5px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/sets/72157604364955214/show/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3236/2384231691_d40d0d3fa6_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Tubing on the Mekong at dusk</i><br />Click photo to see slideshow<br />or <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/sets/72157604364955214/">here</a> for all Don Det pics</span></div>
<p>As soon as I got off the boat in <em>Don Det</em> I knew it was the place I’ve been hoping for. I had seen too many crowded cities, busy paved roads, hassling tuk-tuk drivers and growling tour buses. Without even knowing it I had been longing for a hammock under the shade of trees by the riverside. I had been dreaming of a peaceful village with no cars and few people, a haven of silence with dirt paths and bamboo bungalows where the morning crow of the roosters and the music of the roaring waterfalls would be the only disturbing noises. Then our long-tail boat landed on a muddy river bank in Don Det. I was in backpacker heaven.</p>
<br clear="all">
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/2385055100/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3145/2385055100_e207c126c6_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Our bungalows - Vixay guesthouse</i></span></div>
<p>At the southern tip of Laos, the Mekong River spreads into a maze of arms and canals, snaking its way through and around the swarm of islands that dot its waters. Don Det, the most famous outpost in the <em>Four Thousand Islands</em>, is where the crowd of international modern-day hippies goes for a swim, a beer, and countless hours of just watching the waters flow. The islands still live in a time of their own; the local families tend to their riverside guesthouses and patio-restaurants when they are not busy cultivating rice. Electricity is a daily four-hour festival, between 6 and 10 PM. There are no cars, only a few scooters. Nobody runs; everybody seems to be taking a stroll. If you’re looking for the deepest meaning of the words “slow” and “relaxed,” Don Det is the place for you. The French have tried, with little success, to build some infrastructure – a short railroad, a bridge and a few concrete dams – in order to circumvent the furious waterfalls that make the navigation toward the lower Mekong impossible. After their departure, everything fell into ruins.
<div style="float: right; margin-left: 5px; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-top: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/2385062686/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2300/2385062686_4b10e7b77f_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Beach life in Don Det</i></span></div>
The tourists, mainly young backpackers and aged hippies, haven’t destroyed the place yet since it’s been “discovered”, about 10 years ago; they’re mostly busy socializing at the small beach on the northern tip of the island, biking their way around, swimming in the natural pools at the <em>Tat Somphamit</em> waterfalls and getting high on the widely available, cheap ganja. The lack of permanent electrical power contributes in part to keeping the islands isolated and underdeveloped; everyone who loves them would like them to stay so. For as underdeveloped as they are, the islands don’t lack the basic commodities needed by 21st-century backpackers – beer, kept in coolers under blocks of ice, is usually cold enough despite the lack of refrigerators; internet, albeit expensive, is available (running on batteries outside of the electricity window) and in every hamlet lives at least one guy who can fix a flat tire – a skill sorely needed by many <em>falang</em> who rent bikes to explore Don Det and <em>Don Khon</em> (its sister island to the south). During our own biking adventure, Angela’s wheels punctured and deflated three times, the same day. Bad luck or bad karma?</p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/2384232301/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3128/2384232301_8dc4cde32d_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Angela and Rahel sipping a Lao-Lao shake</i></span></div>
<p>Many people stay on the islands longer than they planned, but “slow” and “relaxed” can become “boring” after a while. We left after three days and took a <em>sawngthaew</em> (a sort of pick-up truck turned bus) to <em>Pakse</em>, the closest bigger town on the Mekong and a former French colonial provincial capital. After peace and quiet we were now missing the creature comforts of modern life: TV, better food and air conditioning. It was time for a bigger adventure: a motorbike tour of the <em>Bolaven</em> plateau. <em>Lonely Planet</em> recommends the plateau, its jungle-covered mountains, the spectacular waterfalls, and the dirt roads winding through sleepy villages as one of the main attractions of southern Laos; we took their word for it and followed the circuit they suggested.</p>
<div style="float: right; margin-left: 5px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/sets/72157604364976206/show/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2123/2385071424_75d8f7e6eb_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Tad Fan Waterfalls</i><br />Click photo to see slideshow<br />or <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/sets/72157604364976206/">here</a> for all Bolaven plateau<br />photos</span></div>
<p>We left Pakse with our 100cc 4-speed Honda on a rainy morning. As we woke up with the dark skies and warm rain we hesitated for a while; should we just skip the whole plateau-thing and head straight to Vientiane? But we didn’t give up; we left the big backpacks at the <em>Lankham</em> hotel and hopped on the bike with the day bag, a change of clothes, the camera and the computer (which we did not need, but couldn't leave behind). Within minutes my shirt was drenched and we had to stop at the market to buy plastic rain coats. As we arrived frozen and wet at the Tad Fan resort, where we wanted to have lunch at the restaurant overlooking the waterfalls, we were already having second thoughts. What if it was going to rain like that for the next few days? Fortunately it didn’t; the weather got better in the afternoon and by the time we arrived in the <em>Tad Lo</em> village, where we were going to spend the night, the skies had cleared and our clothes had dried.</p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/2384259189/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3099/2384259189_4a34d68339_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Kids playing Thai footbal in Tad Lo village</i></span></div>
<p>Tad Lo village is a perfect spot to while away a day or two in perfect harmony with nature. There are a few guesthouses with decent restaurants on the banks of the river, a short distance from the waterfalls, and only a handful of quiet backpackers. Unlike in Don Det, where all foreign tourists behave like one big family, there’s none of that overbearing socializing in Tad Lo; you’d almost want to talk in a whisper to your mate at the restaurant so you won’t disturb the divine peace that surrounds the village…</p>
<p>Foreigners come to the villages and towns of the plateau but not in large numbers, and the locals are always forthcoming and eager to practice the few words of English they know. In <em>Attapeu</em> they changed the TV channel to CNN when we sat down in a restaurant; they were happy and surprised when we told them we wanted the Lao traditional noodle-soup for breakfast instead of the omelets and baguettes they expected every <em>falang</em> to eat in the morning.</p>
<div style="float: right; margin-left: 5px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/2385099640/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2196/2385099640_9da8f64ab7_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Bike warrior</i></span></div>
<p>Driving a bike up and down on the potholed dirt roads of the plateau is no easy affair. Storms broke out a couple of times; we had to stop and take cover under an abandoned house with some Lao boys who were kindling a scrap-wood fire. Another time, as the rain started to pour, a woman invited us in her house; her kids were staring at us the whole time, not sure whether they should laugh or be horrified. And when we thought things were just going great we got into an accident – I tried to avoid two consecutive potholes and the back wheel went skidding out of control. Before we knew it, we were reeling in the dirt, trying to figure out what happened, and the whole village was running toward us to help. Luckily we got away with a few superficial skin wounds, and the bike was fine. We were able continue our drive but we were hurting badly and decided to push all the way back to Pakse to treat our wounds – there was not much in the way of hygiene and medical help in <em>Paksong</em>, a small town in the heart of the plateau, where we had hoped to clean up and spend the night.
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-top: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/2385070116/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2104/2385070116_6fda08173e_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Road food</i></span></div>
Our travel medical kit was more than enough, but out of sheer curiosity and a sense that a professional would do a better job, I decided to go to the local hospital. Surprisingly, it was all very clean and the nurses who treated us did a great job – but then again, they didn’t have to do much; they only cleaned the wounds, rubbed in some iodine and applied sterile plasters. Before long, we were entertaining the whole hospital staff with stories from the trip and bits of information about America. Treatment was free but we had to buy some cheap medical supplies, painkillers and antibiotics. Later that night, we celebrated the return to civilization and our narrow escape from an accident that could have turned much worse, with copious amounts of western food, beer and wine. The next day, we slept.</p>
<p><em><strong>falang</strong> (or farang): generic word used in Thailand, Cambodia and Laos to describe foreigners of European ancestry. A bit like "gringo" in Central and South America.<br />
Posted from Luang Prabang, Laos.</em></p>Big Fat Rathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637735648155964440noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4058497207296351452.post-9641471621463809472008-04-01T04:35:00.008-07:002008-04-03T02:18:28.495-07:00The Indochina route<!--geodata
{ "locations": [
{"type": "a", "lat": "11.558068", "long": "104.921644", "name": "Phnom Penh", "image": "http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2114/2377116716_88ab886041_t.jpg"},
{"type": "as", "lat": "13.52382", "long": "105.974613", "name": "Stung Treng"}],
"zoom": "5"
}
geodata-->
<p><div style="float: right; margin-left: 5px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/sets/72157604343973875/show/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2114/2377116716_88ab886041_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Sunset at the Royal Palace</i><br />Click photo to see slideshow<br />or <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/sets/72157604343973875/">here</a> for all Phnom Penh<br />pictures</span></div>
<p>Getting to Cambodia from Bangkok on land is sort of a painful adventure, from what I’ve heard. Guide books and weathered backpackers advise against taking the minibus service to Siem Reap, the gateway to Angkor, offered by many Bangkok hotels and guesthouses. Apparently, the “direct” minibus deal is a major scam. The journey takes the whole day and the weary backpackers are dropped late at night at a commission-paying hotel, when they are too tired to set off and look for another guesthouse. A better alternative is to take public transportation to the Thailand-Cambodia border and arrange your transfer to Siem Reap once you crossed - there is no lack of options on the Cambodian side. Even then, the journey would not be much faster, since the road leading from the border to Siem Reap is in very poor shape. Conspiracy theory pundits maintain that the road is kept purposely in this state of disrepair, in order to bolster business for the only airline that links the two places, Bangkok Airways. Allegedly, Cambodian government officials receive solid kickbacks in exchange for keeping their eyes closed and allowing the status quo to continue. But that’s just a story… I’m sure that the money we paid to Bangkok Airways to fly us to Cambodia, about $200 per person for a 35-minute flight, will be used for a noble cause…</p>
<p>After exhausting ourselves scampering through the ruins of Angkor, the obvious next step was to travel to <em>Phnom Penh</em>, the capital of the country, the central hub where all roads lead to anyway. Luxury buses (luxury meaning that they have AC and a toilet) between Siem Reap and Phnom Penh take about 5 hours and cost $8. The road is paved and the ride uneventful.</p>
<div style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/2376281997/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2106/2376281997_f5abf95a76_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>The ravages of neglect</i></span></div>
<p>Phnom Penh, the largest town in Cambodia, still has the air of a sleepy colonial river outpost, boasting a nice French quarter with many renovated, charming buildings. Between 1975 and 1979, during the genocidal Khmer Rouge regime, the city was almost completely abandoned; the population was evacuated and sent to remote villages and reeducation camps. Its residents were labeled enemies of the people, unfit and unworthy to live in the new agrarian republic of Kampuchea; many were eventually killed. The infrastructure gradually collapsed; the plumbing system, unused for too long, decayed and broke down. Rebuilding efforts started soon after the demise of the communist regime, with the gradual return of the population. Today the town looks pretty good, considering what it’s gone through in the past. Business is booming; tourists, foreign NGO workers, and even Cambodians fill the fancy restaurants and cafes along the river; renovation projects and construction work are underway in many parts of town. Yet as charming as Phnom Penh is, it’s nothing to fall in love with. After a few uneventful days, which we spent mostly eating and watching TV in our $15 air-conditioned room at the “<em>OK Guesthouse</em>” - a favorite backpacker’s hangout - we moved on… but not before a last-day extravaganza, spending $50 for Spanish tapas and a bottle of red wine at one of the finest restaurants in town.</p>
<div style="float: right; margin-left: 5px; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-top: 5px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fritz_da_kat/2377120294/"><div class="flickrimg"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2047/2377120294_8bf00ae4ac_m.jpg"/></div></a><span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Stung Treng... center</i></span></div>
<p>Since there wasn’t much else to see in Cambodia, we continued creeping our way toward Laos. There aren’t any luxury liners on that route; we had to take a mosquito-infested local bus that stopped in every village. It wasn’t very cheap (at least for us foreigners) - $12 and about 9 hours will bring you not quite to the border, but to <em>Stung Treng</em>, the closest town, where bus services end. Locals don’t cross the border often, and when they do, they are more likely to be seen on motorbikes loaded with bags and crates in a precarious balancing act. Various Phnom Penh guesthouses that provide bus tickets to backpackers sell transportation all the way to the Laos border, without volunteering the information that you have to spend the night in Stung Treng. But you have no choice, the border closes early. In Stung Treng, another $13 will get you a ticket involving two river crossings and two road transfers, all the way to <em>Four Thousand Islands</em> - the backpacker’s haven on the Mekong River in the south of Laos. Surprisingly, the suspicious-looking guy who sold us this deal accepted the Phnom Penh-to-Lao-border ticket that one of the foreign travelers had; he only paid $8.</p>
<p>The shipping of backpackers into Laos is like a family affair around here; guesthouses, bus companies, ferry operators, border guards - everybody seems to get a piece of the pie. Things works on the “Cambodian hour,” which is not unlike the Mexican hour; you must double the time they give you, and add one hour here or there to account for the unavoidable delays. We were told we would leave at 7:30AM, but ended up on the bus around 10. No one would tell us - five increasingly annoyed falang backpackers - what was going on, or when we would finally leave. Straight answers are not the norm here; admitting failure would mean losing face. Magically, when you demand explanations or try to negotiate for a better price, nobody speaks English anymore. But maybe there was a problem on that day and maybe they did usually leave at 7:30… in any case we made it to the border, where a larger group of tourists going the other way was waiting for the bus to take them into Cambodia.</p>
<p>Crossing the border was a breeze... a money-smelling breeze. At the border post on the Cambodia side, a simple wooden shack on the side of the road, the surly guard stamped our passports with the exit visas. “One dollar each” he said, in a flat, matter of fact voice. I know it’s never wise to argue with border officials in third-world countries, but I couldn’t help asking “Why?” “Overtime work,” the answer came. “It’s Sunday.” We smiled and paid. Later Angela told me she was burning to say “No problem, we come back tomorrow,” just to see how they take it. I suspect stamping passports would be considered overtime work not only on weekends, but also during breakfast, lunch and siesta and in general, whenever tourists happen to arrive.</p>
<p>A van was waiting for us on the other side of the barrier, confirming that we hadn’t been scammed after all. A few hundred meters farther, at the Laos border post, we showed our visas, which we had obtained in advance through an agency in Bangkok, and filled our entry cards. “Two dollars each,” the guard said, holding my passport in his hand. “Why?” “Overtime work. It’s Sunday.” I paid without saying a word, but at the same time I was thinking that somebody should tell those suckers on the Cambodia side that they have to adjust the overtime fee, because their smarter Lao colleagues are making double the money for the same work…</p>
<em>Posted from Vientiane, Laos.</em>Big Fat Rathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637735648155964440noreply@blogger.com1