Leave it all behind

Today was my last day of work. I said my goodbyes and wrote the expected "so long and thanks for all the fish" mail to all the people in Exchange. I tried to break the usual pattern of "I'm leaving for this or that group, it was so great to work with you, thank you". It wasn't hard, since my departure isn't the average departure either.

Toward the late afternoon I started having that profound and gut-wrenching feeling of living the end of an era. I became painfully aware of something that I had already known, but whose inevitability had only then struck me: I would be no longer going to the Microsoft campus every day. This entrenched and natural activity that has been my daily routine for so long, that I came to identify with ("I work for Microsoft"), would not be part of my life anymore.

I started feeling sad and inadequate. The surroundings became strange and almost alien. I saw people talking about work on the hallways and I knew I could not be part of their conversations anymore. The spirit of the place had already rejected me although I still had a badge and knew my way around. It was the end.

I don't think I had such a clear-cut feeling of separation since I finished high-school. Then, as now, I was empty and lost for a while. But then, as now, the future looked full of possibilities and promises. Then, the future was called college. Now it's... the road.